Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Message of Hope




For more Inauguration Weekend Pictures, please go here

http://www.flickr.com/photos/28753713@N04/sets/72157612777598079/


Barack Obama took the oath of office Tuesday to become the nation’s 44th president at the U.S. Capitol in Washington. The text of his address is as follows:

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths.

What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].“

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

















SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the
chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was
time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped
that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed
the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?


COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly
see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.


JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's
guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.


GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments,
we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2009, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2009. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


with thanks to the Big Boy for this one.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Digital Wizardry Department



In his new movie, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," Brad Pitt's Benjamin is completely computer generated - from the neck-up, for the movie's first 52 minutes.

Based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, "Benjamin Button" is about a man born in his '80s who ages backwards.

Visual effects artists at Digital Domain began by asking Pitt to make funny faces for their cameras, creating what they called the Brad Pitt Emotional Library.

Meanwhile, a series of other actors with Benjamin's physical characteristics stood in for Pitt on set. Visual effects work being what it is, the blue hoods meant they could check their vanity at the soundstage door.

"With the blue hood, it allows us to erase the head fairly easily and then apply the computer generated version of Brad on to that body," Ulbrich said.

Months after principal filming was finished, Pitt delivered his performance, while watching the scene on a monitor.

"I see it on screen and I'm playing off that, and I'm reacting to that," he said.

Then, using 3-D computer models, aged to perfection and loaded with that library of Brad-isms, animators could finesse Pitt's digital performance to make a perfect copy of the original

Benjamin Button also uses "Contour" developed by pioneering Silicon Valley company Rearden.

Contour has the actor's face covered in glow-in-the-dark makeup which is then digitally filmed by multiple cameras while lit by strobes, capturing facial data in fine detail.

The footage is then melded together into a single composite before the computer-animated boffins get to work on taking Brad back to his future - and narrowing the increasingly fine line between acting in front of the camera and animating behind it
.

Source: CBS Evening News and the New Zealand Herald

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Why Jersey Rocks




New
Jersey rocks! The famous Les Paul invented the first
solid body electric guitar in Mahwah, in 1940.


New Jersey is a peninsula.

Highlands,New Jersey has the highest elevation along
the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida.

New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties
are classified as metropolitan areas.

New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky.

New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq mi.)
than Havana, Cuba.

New Jersey has the densest system of highways and
railroads in the US.

New Jersey has the highest cost of living

New Jersey has the highest cost of auto insurance.

New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the
nation.

New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is
sometimes referred to as the "Diner Capital of the
World."

New Jersey is home to Taylor Ham or Pork Roll.

Home to the best Italian hot dogs and Italian
sausage w/peppers and onions.

North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area
in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25
square mile radius.

New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis
Island.

The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine
ride by inventor John P. Holland

New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the
nation's most famous:

Asbury Park, Wildwood (Crest), Atlantic City, Seaside
Heights, Long Branch, Cape May.

New Jersey has the most stringent testing along its
coastline for water quality control than any other
seaboard state in the entire country.

New Jersey is a leading technology & industrial state
and is the largest chemical producing state in the
nation when you include pharmaceuticals.


Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the
best you can buy.

New Jersey is the world leader in blueberry and
cranberry production

Here's to New Jersey - the toast of the country! In
1642, the first brewery in America, opened in Hoboken.

New Jersey is a major seaport state with a large
seaport in the US, located in Elizabeth.

New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest
airports (in Newark), Liberty International.

George Washington slept there.

Several important Revolutionary War battles were
fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George
Washington (when he wasn't sleeping).

The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion
picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in
his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory. He also owned a home
and the first film studio in the nation in West
Orange. The first moving picture film was done there.

New Jersey also boasts the first town ever lit by
incandescent bulbs.

The first seaplane was built in Keyport , NJ.
The first airmail (to Chicago) was started from
Keyport, NJ.

The first phonograph records were made in Camden, NJ

New Jersey was home to the Miss America Pageant held
in
Atlantic City.

The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named
the streets on its playing board after the actual
streets in Atlantic City. And, Atlantic City has the
longest boardwalk in the world, not to mention salt
water taffy.

New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area
outside of the Middle East countries. (Linden). One explosion there blew doors off and shattered windows in Elizabeth homes.

The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the
Watchung Mountains. The NY skylines is visible.

New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world.
(Union, NJ!!!)

New Jersey had the first medical center, in Jersey
City

The Pulaski SkyWay, from Jersey City to Newark, was
the first skyway highway.

New Jersey built the first tunnel under a river, the
Hudson (Holland Tunnel).

The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, NJ,
which is also the birthplace of Frank Sinatra.

The first intercollegiate football game was played in
New Brunswick in 1889 (Rutgers College played
Princeton).

The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden,
NJ, (but they're all gone now!). I saw the Godfather
in a drive in in Wayne NJ near the Willowbrook Mall.
The Passaic used to flood the area near the carwash
near the drive in. Gone now.

New Jersey is home to both of "NEW YORK'S" pro
football teams!

The first radio station and broadcast was in Paterson,
NJ.

The first FM radio broadcast was made from Alpine, NJ,
by Maj. Thomas Armstrong.

All New Jersey natives:

Sal Martorano, Jack Nicholson, Bruce Springsteen,
Bon Jovi, Jason Alexander, Queen Latifah, Susan
Sarandon, Connie Francis Shaq, Judy Blume, Aaron
Burr, Joan Robertson, Ken Kross, Dionne Warwick, Sarah
Vaughn, Budd Abbott, Lou Costello, Alan Ginsberg,
Norman Mailer, Marilynn McCoo, Flip Wilson,
Alexander Hamilton, Zack Braff Whitney Houston, Eddie
Money, Linda McElroy, Eileen Donnelly, Grover
Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Walt Whitman, Jerry
Lewis, Tom Cruise, Joyce Kilmer, Bruce Willis, Caesar
Romero, Lauryn Hill, Ice-T, Nick Adams, Kevin Fahey,
Nathan Lane, Sandra Dee, Danny DeVito, Richard Conti,
Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Joe DePasquale, Robert Blake,
John Forsythe, Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, Norman
Lloyd, Paul Simon, Jerry Herman, Gorden
McCrae, Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Phyllis Newman,
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth
Shue, Zebulon Pike, James Fennimore Cooper, Admiral
Wm.Halsey,Jr., Norman Schwarzkopf (his mother was a
famous opera singer and his father investigated the
Lindenberg kidnapping also in NJ), the outlaw Sundance
Kid, Dave Thomas (Wendy's), William Carlos Williams,
Ray Liotta, Robert Wuhl, Bob Reyers, Paul Robeson,
Ernie Kovacs, Joseph Macchia, Kelly Ripa, and, of
course, Francis Albert Sinatra and "Uncle Floyd"
Vivino.

The Great Falls in Paterson, on the Passaic River, is
the 2nd highest waterfall on the East Coast of the US.
William Carlos Williams wrote a book length set of
poems called Paterson.

You know you're from Jersey when . .

You don't think of fruit when people mention "The
Oranges."

You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six
Flags.

A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were
seven.

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or
drunk,
at 3 A.M

At least three people in your family still love Bruce
Springsteen, and you know the town Jon Bon Jovi is
from.

You know what a "jug handle" is.

You know that WaWa is a convenience store. Don't
forget Cumberland Farms.

You know that there are no "beaches" in New
Jersey--there's the shore--and you don't
go "to the shore," you go "down the shore." And when
you are there, you're not "at the shore"; you are
"down the shore."

You know how to properly negotiate a circle.
You knew that the last sentence had to do with
driving.

You know that this is the only "New" state that
doesn't
require "New" to identify it (try . . Mexico. . .
York..! . . Hampshire--doesn't work, does it?).

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a
fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.

You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a
sacrilege.

You don't think "What exit?" is very funny. (you will
get your ass kicked by most New Jerseyans)

You know that people from the 609 area code are "a
little different." Yes they are!

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to
Princeton--that's for out-of-staters.

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school
or local bar.
True.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different
malls.

You refer to all highways and interstates by their
numbers.

Every year you have at least one kid in your class
named Tony.

You know the location of every clip shown in the
Sopranos opening credits.

You've gotten on the wrong highway
trying to get out of the mall.

You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside
Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar,
and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.

It can be no other way.
You weren't raised in New Jersey--you were raised in
either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey

You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually
be part of the state.

You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys,
Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's.

You also remember Palisades Amusement Park.
(And the weeds in the distance was not a place you
wanted to visit...more happened there than Alexander
Hamilton being shot by Aaron Burr and it is a one way
destination for many and not because it is a shortcut
into the City)

You've had a boardwalk cheese steak and vinegar fries.

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in
February.

And finally. .You NEVER, NEVER NEVER, EVER pump your
own gas.

...with thanks to Monica from Doreen's office

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

How Do You Feel Rich?









Brace yourself: 2009 may be even more financially challenging than 2008.

Given that our collective American values got us into this mess perhaps we should identify which ones are responsible and replace them with values to help us get through it and avoid the same mistakes in the future.

Here are some values that drove our profligate behavior in recent decades and new ones with which to replace them:

- Greed or excess vs. moderation
- Instant gratification/spend now! vs. patience/save more!
- Materialism vs. generosity

If you're an over-spender, does this create tension with your significant other? If so, controlling your spending would benefit both your bank account and your relationship.

When tempted to buy something unnecessary, ask what do you value more, the item or your relationship, the item or your bank account.

Consciously comparing how much you prefer one thing over another prioritizes your values.

We forget that our grandparents accumulated their possessions after a lifetime of saving for them.

Contrast that with the financial stress many feel today, those who were tempted by the soaring real estate values that made them feel rich.

Those who refinanced their homes took out and spent cash on stuff now have lots of stuff and a home that's worth less than their mortgage.

We need to get back to the novel idea of buying only that for which we have cash. But you can stay on a disciplined budget and still enjoy the convenience of credit cards.

Finally, imagine a world where generosity is valued more than materialism. People literally giving the money they'd otherwise spend to someone who needs it. Or being more generous in spirit.

Thanks to Stephanie, excerpts from News-Press, 12.30.08

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Noah's Ark of Stolen Computer Gear



Victor Papagno had two loves, federal prosecutor say: computers and stealing.

For the Navy, it was a devastating combination.

Over 10 years, authorities said, the computer technician with obsessive-compulsive disorder ran one of the biggest computer theft scams in local history. He stole more than 19,000 pieces of computer equipment from the offices of the Naval Research Laboratory in Southwest Washington.

The loot took up so much space that Papagno built a 2,775-square-foot garage to store it all. It cost the Navy more than $150,000 to inventory the stash of keyboards, monitors, floppy disks, hard drives, cables, batteries and a device to make security badges. When investigators came to haul the equipment away from Papagno's Charles County home, they needed an 18-wheeler.

He got away with stealing computer components from a secure Navy facility by walking out the front door with the booty in boxes -- an average of five items a day over a decade. The Navy never caught on. The tip that brought him down last year came from his estranged wife, authorities said.

The 40-year-old computer specialist, who pleaded guilty in October to theft of government property, was sentenced yesterday to 18 months in prison by U.S. District Judge Paul L. Friedman. The judge said he was disturbed by the "quantity, the value and the sensitivity" of the stolen items and ordered Papagno to repay the $159,000 it cost the Navy to retrieve and inventory the goods.

Papagno and his attorney blamed his stealing on mental illness, including obsessive-compulsive disorder. He was compelled to hoard things, particularly computer components, they said; Papagno did not sell most of the stuff, much of it old and destined for recycling bins or the trash heap. "I couldn't throw things away," Papagno told Friedman.

"One way to look at this crime is that it was about collecting," said Assistant U.S. Attorney James Mitzelfeld. "It's like the art buff stealing artwork because he wants to have his own collection."

Investigators were concerned that Papagno had pilfered sensitive data from the Navy lab. More than 7,700 stolen items held data. One floppy disk, for example, contained personal information on 300 employees at the laboratory. Investigators also found a device that creates security badges for laboratory workers. In his bedroom dresser, they found badges belonging to 10 of Papagno's co-workers, authorities said.

Scores of computer components in Papagno's house in Hughesville were new, some still in the packaging. Among them: 20 Macintosh G4 computers with a list price of $4,000 each, 10 Apple flat-screen monitors worth $1,500 each, external hard drives worth $350 and four Apple Thinkpad laptops that retail for $3,500 each. Both sides put the value of the stolen goods at more than $120,000. The items were worth at least $1.6 million new.

He also targeted retailers with bogus manufacturer coupons and rebate certificates. Investigators said he bought legitimate ones on eBay, then created copies on his computer. He bought goods with them and returned the items for gift cards. Investigators said they found "bags of gift cards and receipts" in Papagno's home.

Papagno began stealing in 1997 while he was working as a computer specialist at the Navy lab. He told investigators it was easy; the Navy had lax inventory controls and bought computers with "reckless abandon." The Navy did not track items worth less than $2,500, investigators said.

Papagno told authorities he was building a "Noah's Ark of Computer land," special agent Timothy Hall of the Navy Criminal Investigative Service wrote in court papers. The computer specialist said he "loved to steal," Hall wrote, and he told a friend that he planned to auction the equipment on eBay.

Over the years, Papagno sold some of the equipment to friends and gave away other items. He used some parts in his "freelance" business, installing and upgrading computer networks and software, prosecutors said.

When he began to run out of space at home, he persuaded one friend to store items in the basement of her 90-year-old father's house, investigators said, and another to rent a storage locker for him so his wife would not find out. But those were temporary solutions.

In 2000, investigators said, Papagno built the garage. It cost him $50,000.


Source: Washington Post, December 23, 2008

Friday, December 19, 2008

Secret Santa gives out more than a million dollars.



Just imagine you go to a thrift store - when a stranger comes over sounding like he’s trying to pick up … you.


“Shop in this place very often?” a man says.
He lures you behind said door … “Come over here,” he says. And then he whispers: “I’m Secret Santa.”

“This is for you,” he says, handing his victim some money. “Merry Christmas.”


Secret Santa, who wishes to remain secret, will only say that he is a businessman from Kansas City. He crossed the country - going into dozens of thrift stores, laundromats and bus stations, and going up to hundreds of strangers who seem like they could use a Franklin or two.
“I’d like to give you this: $200,” Santa says.

By Christmas he gave out $75,000 worth of hundred-dollar bills.
“Is this for real?” one man, named Robert Young, asked. “It's for real, buddy,” Santa said. “And I can keep it?” Young asked. “It's yours and you can keep it,” Santa said. “God bless you,” Young said. Young is homeless. He was down to his last 20 cents.

Susan Dahl is homeless, too. She was down to her last straw. “You have use for it?” Santa asked. “Oh yes, I'm going to go find myself a motel room and get a shower. I've been in the same clothes, people, for 5 days!” Dahl said. “I'm the happiest person in the world right now.”

Secret Santa says that joy, that tremendous return on investment - is part of the reason he’s doing this.
But here’s the bigger reason: Larry Stewart. Stewart was the original Secret Santa. He kept his identity hidden for 25 years, while giving out more than a million dollars. Stewart said of his Secret Santa gig: "It warms my heart." Stewart died last year of esophageal cancer.

And on his death bed, a dear friend promised to not let Secret Santa die with him.
“He just squeezed my hand,” Secret Santa said. “He didn't say anything.” So, Secret Santa carries on, making perfect smiles on perfect strangers. And like Stewart before, all he ever asks in return is that people do a random act of kindness for someone else someday. “Can you do that?” he asked one woman. “You betcha,” she said. “Secret Santa lives in each and everyone of us,” Santa said. “It's just a matter of letting him out."

Source: CBS
News Correspondent Steve Hartman

Mark Felt: "We did get the whole truth out".























Mark Felt, who was the source known as “Deep Throat” in the 1972 Watergate scandal, has died. He was 95.

Mark Felt died in his home in Santa Rosa, California. Felt was “Deep Throat,” the infamous source for Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein regarding the burglary of the Democratic Party National Committee headquarters in 1972. The scandal that resulted from the break-in brought down former President Richard Nixon. Woodward and Bernstein’s articles in the Washington Post resulted in a special prosecutor investigation that led to President Nixon’s resignation

The true identity of “Deep Throat” remained a secret until May 2005, when Felt’s identity was revealed in an article for Vanity Fair magazine.

For decades, he was known only as “Deep Throat,” a double entendre: Felt was providing information on the condition of complete anonymity, known as "deep background," and his actions coincided with a popular 1972 porn movie of the same name.

Woodward claimed that when he wanted to meet Deep Throat, he would move a flowerpot with a red flag on the balcony of his apartment, number 617, at the Webster House at 1718 P Street, Northwest, and when Deep Throat wanted a meeting, he would circle the page number on page twenty of Woodward's copy of The New York Times and draw clock hands to signal the hour.

"People will debate for a long time whether I did the right thing by helping Woodward," Felt wrote in his 2006 memoir, "A G-Man's Life: The FBI, `Deep Throat' and the Struggle for Honor in Washington." "The bottom line is that we did get the whole truth out, and isn't that what the FBI is supposed to do?

Monday, December 15, 2008

What Have They Been Doing Department?


Does anybody out remember why the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY was established during the
Carter Administration?

Anybody? Anything? No?

Didn't think so.

Bottom line . . we've spent several hundred billion dollars in support of an agency the reason for which not one person who reads this can remember.

Ready? It was very simple, and at the time everybody thought it very appropriate.

The Department of Energy was instituted 8/4/77 "to lessen our dependence on foreign oil". Pretty efficient government, huh?

And now it's 2008, 31 years later, and the budget for this organization is now $24 billion a year, with 16,000 federal employees, and 100,000 contract workers.

And now we are going to turn the banking system and Detroit's big 3 over to them.

Ah yes, good ole bureaucracy.

...with thanks to Ernie

Kids' Science Exam Answers


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

...with thanks to Carolyn

Kids Say The Darnest Things...



TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.



TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.

MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

...with thanks to Carolyn !

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Drowning Nation

The Pacific island-nation of Tuvalu is the first country to have evacuated some of its citizens because of the sea-level rise driven by global warming. The highest point on the island sits only 15 feet above sea level. A quarter of the nation’s population has already been evacuated. Will this be the first island nation to disappear as a result of climate change?

Friday, December 12, 2008

Lego King


Who doesn't remember growing up playing with Legos? Most kids ultimately pack up their Legos and move on. But Nathan Sawaya never did.

The 35-year-old New Yorker makes a six-figure living as a Lego artist, creating large-scale works of art using tens of thousands of the plastic pieces.

The New Orleans Public Library commissioned this work from Sawaya to celebrate the city's rebirth. It contains over 120,000 bricks and took over six weeks to build.

Legos were the furthest thing from his mind when he set out in the working world. After graduating New York University Law School, Sawaya became a Wall Street attorney, earning six-figures—and working in a high-stress environment. To relax after long hours at the office, he would work on art projects at night, One of Sawaya's first hobbyist projects with Legos was an eight-foot-tall pencil. Friends would come over to gawk at it, Visitors to the site sent in requests, such as Lego renderings of portraits of their children.

The hobby became the real thing in 2004 after he won a competition sponsored by Lego to find the best builder in the U.S. He quit his job and became one of Lego's "master model builders," creating sculptures for its theme park in San Diego. They paid him just $13 an hour, but it gave him good training for when he returned to New York to create his own Lego works full-time.

Sawaya now keeps 1.5 million Lego bricks, meticulously organized by shape and color into clear bins. Sawaya says he now works more hours per week than ever but gets artistic gratification from his Lego creations, particularly when he hears from children who are inspired by his projects.


You can buy a life-size Lego vanity-sculpture of yourself from this year’s Nieman Marcus catalog for a mere $60,000



Source: Conde Nast Portfolio.com

And We Want To Make This A State Run Enterprise?

Click to enlarge these pix !

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Tradition Trivia: The Custom of Sending Christmas Cards




The custom of sending Christmas cards started in Britain in 1840 when the first 'Penny Post' public postal deliveries began. Helped by the new railway system, the public postal service was the 19th century's communication revolution, just as email is for us today.

As printing methods improved, Christmas cards were produced in large numbers from about 1860. They became even more popular in Britain when a card could be posted in an unsealed envelope for one half-penny - half the price of an ordinary letter.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My Next Life by Woody Allen



In my next life I want to live my life backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, so you go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous; then you are ready for high school.
You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play.
You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born.
And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then,
Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
I rest my case.


...thanks Big Boy for this one.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Why Do Dogs Love Riding in Cars?








Sally loves to ride in the car, go anywhere. So today's question is why do dogs love to ride in cars. So far, the best answer is simply that they can stick their head out the window and sniff all the scents in the air, the other dogs, cats, flowers, people, etc. Their sense of smell is incredible. Plus they love to see new stuff and think you are taking them somewhere fun. Best of all, they just know they get to be with their owner and not stuck at home all by themselves.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Heads Up For Space Junk






In a week of really, really big news stories, NASA's lost tool bag stood out.

The week was dominated by news of Wall Street’s continued free fall and the idiocy of Big 3’s decision to fly three separate corporate jets to D.C. -- to beg Congress for a bailout.

However who couldn't remain dry eyed about the infamous tool bag, now sadly lost in space.






You can even track the tool bag’s orbit at

www.n2yo.com

Today the site was so jammed, you may not get through but keep trying.

Astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper said in an interview with The Associated Press that it was "very disheartening" to lose her bag full of tools. She was trying to clean up grease that had oozed out of a grease gun in the backpack-size bag, when the tote and everything in it floated away Tuesday.

The bag was one of the largest items ever lost by a spacewalking astronaut. NASA put the price tag of the tool bag at $100,000

This raises the larger question about how much space junk is floating around up there and what are the “Space Junk’s Top 10”?

So, cover your head, put on a football helmet, and here we go.

#1 - Weighing in at 77 tons (70,000 kilograms), the first and only solely-U.S. space station Skylab launched into orbit on May 14, 1973. Its orbiting operations came to a premature end on July 11, 1979, when Skylab plummeted through the atmosphere, sending chunks of debris raining down over an area stretching from the Southeastern Indian Ocean across a sparsely populated section of Western Australia.

#2 - In the world of space litter, the heavyweight champ would have to be Mir, heftier in its day than any object (except the moon) to orbit Earth. The 15-year-old Russian space station began its suicidal nosedive on March 23, 2001, as it reentered Earth's atmosphere above the Pacific Ocean near Fiji. Though most of the station, weighing 286,600 pounds (130,000 kilograms), burned up in the atmosphere, about 1,500 fragments reached Earth's surface. Beachgoers in Nadi, Fiji, snapped photos of blazing bits of Mir debris and there were reports of sonic booms caused by heavy debris.

#3 - After completing 51,658 orbits around Earth, the Compton Gamma Ray Observatory was intentionally deorbited due to a crippled gyroscope on June 4, 2000. As the spacecraft tumbled through Earth's atmosphere, its solar panels and antennas were thought to pop off first, while other parts likely melted. About 13,227 pounds (6,000 kilograms) of debris from the observatory splashed down into the Pacific Ocean southeast of Hawaii.

#4 - On Feb. 1, 2003, during its return to Earth, Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated on reentry, killing seven astronauts. The catastrophic, lethal accident shed thousands of pieces of debris across a 28,000 square mile (72,520 square kilometers) area in eastern Texas and western Louisiana. More than 80,000 recovered pieces were stored for follow-up research.

#5 - In May 1966, spacecraft debris was spotted in the Rio Negro District of Brazil. The metal parts were identified as coming from a stage of the Saturn development test (SA-5) that launched in 1964 and which reentered the atmosphere on Apr. 30, 1966. The litter included a piece of lightweight metal, an oval-shaped chunk of metal, a black beehive-shaped structure and four pieces of fragile wire.

#6 - On Jan. 21, 2001, a Delta 2 third stage, known as a PAM-D (Payload Assist Module-Delta), reentered the atmosphere over the Middle East. Its titanium motor casing, weighing about 154 pounds (70 kilograms), slammed down in Saudi Arabia, while a titanium pressurant tank landed near Seguin, Texas, and the main propellant tank plunked down near Georgetown, Texas.

#7 - A secret Soviet-navy satellite called Cosmos 954, which was launched on Sept. 18, 1977, spiraled out of control. The spy radar antennas each sported a compact nuclear reactor, making the reentry one of the most frightening to date for people on the ground. On Jan. 24, 1978, Cosmos 954 reentered over Canada and shed debris across the frozen ground of the Canadian Arctic. Following the crash, the U.S. and Canada conducted overflights of the area and associated cleanup efforts.

#8 - Several mysterious spheres turned up in Australia in the 1960s, with some speculating these balls could be connected with UFO phenomenon. One such titanium sphere was spotted in Merkanooka, Western Australia. Dubbed the Merkanooka ball, the metal sphere was later identified as a tank used for drinking water in the Gemini V spacecraft, which was launched on Aug. 21, 1965, and reentered the atmosphere and splashed down into the Atlantic Ocean on Aug. 29 that year.

#9 - A woman in Turley, Oklahoma, got a noggin-knock in January 1997 when she was struck with a lightweight fragment of charred woven material. She was not injured. The sky junk was identified as debris from a Delta 2 booster, which reentered the Earth's atmosphere on Jan. 22, 1997. Other debris from that booster included a steel propellant tank and a titanium pressure sphere.

#10 - The U.S. Navy intercepted its defunct spy satellite USA-193 on Feb. 20, 2008, sending a trail of debris that some amateur astronomers reported falling over the northwestern United States and Canada. Department of Defense officials said they hadn't recovered any debris larger than a football.

With thanks to...

http://www.space.com/missionlaunches/080225-top10-debris-1.html

Friday, November 21, 2008

Memory Test

Here's a quick memory test for you...

1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson
B. Roy Orbison
C. Gene Autry
D. Rudolph Valentino
E. Fabian
F. Mickey Mantle
G. Cassius Clay

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and...
A. It's you
B. He is us
C. It's the Grinch
D. He wasn't home
E. He's really me an
F. We quit
G. He surrendered

4. Good night David.
A. Good night Chet
B. Sleep well
C. Good night Irene
D. Good night Gracie
E. See you later alligator
F. Until tomorrow
G. Good night Steve

5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...
A. When you use Tide
B. When you lose your crayons
C. When you clean your tub
D. If you paint the room blue
E. If you buy a soft water tank
F. When you use Lady Clairol
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's
friend...
A. Stuart Whitman
B. Randolph Scott
C. Steve Reeves
D. Maynard G. Krebbs
E. Corky B. Dork
F. Dave the Whale
G. Zippy Zoo

7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar
B. Your nose is growing
C. Pants on fire
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher
F. On the wire
G. I'm telling Mom

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for
truth, justice and...
A. Wheaties
B. Lois Lane
C. TV ratings
D. World peace
E. Red tights
F. The American way
G. News headlines

9. Hey kids! What time is it?
A. It's time for Yogi Bear
B. It's time to do your homework
C. It's Howdy Doody Time
D. It's Time for Romper Room
E. It's bedtime
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour
G. Scoopy Doo Time

10. Lions and tigers and bears...
A. Yikes
B. Oh no
C. Gee whiz
D. I'm scared
E. Oh my
F. Help! Help!
G. Let's run

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone...
A. Over 40
B. Wearing a uniform
C. Carrying a briefcase
D. Over 30
E. You don't know
F. Who says, 'Trust me'
G. Who eats tofu

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's
stockings...
A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Stauback
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway

13. Brylcream...
A. Smear it on
B. You'll smell great
C. Tame that cowlick
D. Grease ball heaven
E. It's a dream
F. We're your team
G. A little dab'll do ya

14. I found my thrill...
A. In Blueberry muffins
B.. With my man, Bill
C. Down at the mill
D. Over the windowsill
E. With thyme and dill
F. Too late to enjoy
G. On Bl ueberry Hill

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by...
A. Gable
B. Mary Martin
C. Doris Day
D. Errol Flynn
E. Sally Fields
F. Jim Carey
G. Jay Leno

16. Name the Beatles...
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. I wonder, wonder, who..
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?

18. I'm strong to the finish...
A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach
C. Cause I lift weights
D. Cause I'm the hero
E. And don't you forget it
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me
G. To outlast Bruto

19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today...
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera
B. Smile, you're on Star Search
C. Smile, you won the lottery
D. Smile, we're watching you
E. Smile, the world sees you
F. Smile, you're a hit
G. Smile, you're on TV

20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket
C. Make you fat
D. Melt your heart
E. Make you popular
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
G. Come in colors

Here are the correct answers:

1. D - Wonder Bread
2. G - Cassius Clay
3. B - He Is Us
4. A - Good night, Chet
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D - Maynard G. Krebbs
7. C - Pants On Fire
8. F - The American Way
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time
10. E - Oh My
11. D - Over 30
12. C - Joe Namath
13. G - A little dab'll do ya
14. G - On Blueberry Hill
15. B - Mary Martin
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera
20. F - Melt In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand

...with thanks to Carolynn

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Geeky Words

Geeky words we hate to hear:

•Content. As in, "Web content." Ugh. If you mean"Web pages," say "Web pages." If you mean "music,"
say "music." Nobody outside the tech industry says "content" when they mean "what's on your player" or "what's on your Web site."

•Enable. Who on earth says, "Enable the GPS function"?
Only user-manual writers and computer-book
authors. Say "Turn on GPS" instead.

•URL. This one's common, but I still can't stand it.
"Uniform Resource Locator"? Oh, thank you– that
helps. NOT! I use "Web address." Same number of
syllables, and crystal-clear.

•Device. You know what's weird? Cellphone companies never
actually use the term "cellphone." They always use the word "device,"
as in the winceinducing sentence, "The user can transfer D.R.M.–protected
content to their device." Look, I get it: these days, cellphones do
more than make phone calls. You don't need to abandon the term
" cellphone" for that reason; the meaning of "cellphone" has
alreadyexpanded to accommodate its new functions. If you
say "cellphone," your audience already understands
that it means "a gadget that makes calls, gets on the
Internet and takes crummy pictures."

•Dialog. The term "dialog box" is already a problem,
since it doesn't really identify what it is (a message
box on the screen, forcing you to answer a question–
like how many copies of a printout you want). But
unfortunately, there's absolutely no alternative. And
shortening this to "dialog" is definitely a step in the
wrong direction.

•E-mail client. Originally, someone coined "client"
to distinguish your computer's e-mail program from
the computer that dishes it out (the server). But when
you're not explicitly trying to make that differentiation,
just say "e-mail program." The only people with
e-mail clients are the lawyers who represent Outlook
and Gmail.

•Functionality. WOW, do I despise this pretentious
word. Five syllables–ooh, what a knowledgeable person
you must be! It means "feature." Say "feature."

•LCD. What I hate about this word is that it doesn't
say what it is ("the screen"). And even if you spell out
what it means in parentheses, you still haven't told
readers what the heck you're talking about. ("Liquid
crystal display? Ohhh, so THAT'S what it means.")

•PDA. Here's another ridiculous term–ridiculous
because it's not self-explanatory. "Personal digital assistant?"
Give me a break.

•RAM. Here again, there's a plain-English word that
does the same job without the intimidation: memory.
That's a word that says what it means.

•Support. I don't mean "support" as in "tech support,"
although even that term is a corporate creepy
cop-out (it means "help line"). No, I mean the verb, as
in, "The laptop supports Wi-Fi and Bluetooth." In no
other corner of modern discourse is "support" used
that way. I use "has," "offers" or "works with."

•User. There are two industries that refer to their
customers as "users" -technology and illegal drugs.
When you're writing about computers, there's almost
never a sentence where you couldn't substitute
"you" or, worst case, "the customer" as the noun and
thereby improve the sentence. Instead of saying, "The
user can, at his or her option, elect to remove this
functionality," say, "You can turn this feature off." It's
not only clearer, but it gets you out of the awkward
"his or her" bit.

Courtesy Pogue’s Anti-Jargon Dictionary by David Pogue, NY Times (excerpts)

I Know My Golf Ball is Around Here Somewhere...






...say hello to our 7th Fairway water hazard. I shot these today. "King" is about 11 feet long and enjoys his daily sun bath.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Dog Wisdom



A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

...with thanks to Babs for this one.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Birthday Wisdom




"Youth is wasted on the young" ~ George Bernard Shaw

“If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself" ~ Adolph Zucker

"The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball"~ Doug Larson

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter" ~ Mark Twain

"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul" ~ Samuel Ullman

"You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair" ~ Douglas MacArthur

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional" ~ Chili Davis

"Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone" ~ Jim Fiebig