Strengthening Digital Defenses

Just as the invention of the atomic bomb changed warfare and deterrence 64 years ago, a new international race has begun to develop cyberweapons and systems to protect against them.

(click on map to enlarge)

Thousands of daily attacks on federal and private computer systems in the United States — many from China and Russia, some malicious and some testing chinks in the patchwork of American firewalls — have prompted the Obama administration to review American strategy.

President Obama is expected to propose a far larger defensive effort in coming days, including an expansion of the $17 billion, five-year program that Congress approved last year, the appointment of a White House official to coordinate the effort, and an end to a running bureaucratic battle over who is responsible for defending against cyberattacks.

The full story is here, courtesy New York Times, David E. Sanger, John Markoff and Thom Shanker reporting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/28/us/28cyber.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th

Back to the Future with Max Headroom

Say hello again to Max Headroom – the first computer generated TV host.

Ironically, this Max Headroom episode is about Blipverts, little blasts of TV ads that make the audience’s heads explode, and, this video is interrupted by quick, current day web ads, that... you get the idea.

Suggestion: FF to spot 20 minutes remain, when Max Headroom is born. It’s here that the show kicks into high gear. Here's the link:

http://www.joost.com/175003l/t/Max-Headroom-Blipverts

In the premiere episode, set in an anonymous, yet uncomfortably familiar world "20 minutes into the future," television has become the only growth industry and ratings are the networks only concern.

The Max Headroom character originated in 1985-86 as an announcer for a music video British television channel, Channel 4, called The Max Headroom Show. The intent was to portray a futuristic computer-generated character. Max Headroom appeared as a stylized head on TV against harsh primary color rotating-line backgrounds, and he became well known for his jerky techno-stuttering American-accented speech, wisecracks, and puns

The Original Max Talking Headroom Show was made by Cinemax in 1987.

Network 23 is revealed as an omnipotent conglomerate that monitors the world through hundreds of satellites. In this forbidding society, household television sets have no "off" switches and communication is total and instantaneous.

Corrupt, manipulative executives have enabled the Network to become the world's most powerful station, due largely to the invention and secret use of "Blipverts," television commercials that are compressed and transmitted into the viewers' minds to prevent "channel switching."

But a lethal side-effect of "Blipverts" on some viewers leads to a series of extraordinary "accidents" that the Network board members try to hide from the public.

When the Network's star investigative reporter, Edison Carter (Matt Frewer), discovers that his own organization is behind this diabolical plot, he sets out to expose the cover-up. During his investigation, Carter is involved in a near-fatal incident, and nervous Network executives take him for a computerized memory scan to see what he has learned.

Bryce Lynch (Chris Young), the Network's brilliant, teenaged head of research and development, uses the opportunity to test his new invention, which records a subject's memory while computerizing its image on the screen.

This test results in the accidental "birth" of Carter's computerized alter-ego, Max Headroom (Frewer), a stuttering blend of human mind and powerful microchip, who inhabits the television airwaves. Carter and Max join forces under the watchful eyes of Network controller Theora Jones (Amanda Pays) and continue the investigation.

Trivia:

The real image of Max was not computer generated. Computing technology in the mid-1980s was not sufficiently advanced for a full-motion, voice-synced human head to be practical for a television series. Max's image was actually that of actor Matt Frewer in latex and foam prosthetic makeup with a fiberglass suit created by Peter Litten and John Humphreys of Coast to Coast Productions in the UK. This was then superimposed over a moving geometric background. Even the background was not actual computer graphics at first; it was hand-drawn cell animation like the "computer-generated" animations in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy TV series. Later in the U.S. version they were actually generated by a Commodore Amiga computer. But when these things were combined with clever editing, the appearance of a computer-generated human head was convincing to many.

Pure as Driven Snow

Adult film actress Marilyn Chambers, the onetime Ivory Snow model who gained greater fame as the star of the X-rated "Behind the Green Door," was found dead Sunday by her teenage daughter at her home in Southern California. She was 56.

Authorities have not released a cause of death.

Ms. Chambers, given name Marilyn Briggs, was central to the erotic empire built by the late Mitchell brothers - Jim and Artie - at their Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre, now in its 40th year.

Ten years ago, San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown proclaimed a "Marilyn Chambers Day," praising the porn queen for her "artistic presence," her "vision" and her "energy."

"That wasn't from any personal knowledge. That was all part of the allure of San Francisco," Brown said Monday. "At the time that she was doing what she was doing, it created an interest nationally if not internationally in our city. And people would come here to see if Marilyn Chambers was really dressed in snowflakes."

The snowflakes reference goes back to her debut as a teenage model for Ivory Snow, which featured her on a laundry detergent box as a young mother cuddling a laughing baby.

from San Francisco Chronicle

Big Government

01. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

-- Ronald Reagan (1986)

02. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

-- Will Rogers

03. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!

-- Pericles (430 B.C.)

04. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.

-- Mark Twain (1866)

05. Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.

-- Anonymous

06. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

-- Ronald Reagan

07. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

-- Winston Churchill

08. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

-- Mark Twain

09. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.

-- Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

10. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.

-- Thomas Jefferson

Barbie's inventor: "Barbie always represented the fact that a woman has choices."

Ruth Handler was the entrepreneur and marketing genius who co-founded Mattel and created the Barbie doll, one of the world's most enduring and popular toys. She passed away in 2002.

Barbie, a teenage doll with a tiny waist, slender hips and impressive bust, became not only a best-selling toy with more than 1 billion sold in 150 countries, but a cultural icon analyzed by scholars, attacked by feminists and showcased in the Smithsonian Institution.

Although best known for her pivotal role as Barbie's inventor, Handler devoted her later years to a second, trailblazing career: manufacturing and marketing artificial breasts for women who had undergone mastectomies.

Born Ruth Mosko, she was the youngest of 10 children of Polish immigrants who settled in Denver. Her father was a blacksmith who deserted the Russian army. Her mother, who was illiterate, arrived in the United States in the steerage section of a steamship. Her mother's health was so frail that Handler was raised by an older sister.

When she was 19, she left Denver for a vacation in Hollywood and wound up staying. Her high school boyfriend, Elliot Handler, followed her west and married her in 1938. She worked as a secretary at Paramount Studios while he studied industrial design at the Art Center School of Design in Los Angeles (now Art Center College of Design in Pasadena).

When Elliot made some simple housewares to furnish their apartment, Ruth persuaded him to produce more for sale. They bought some workshop equipment from Sears and launched a giftware business in their garage, making items such as bowls, mirrors and clocks out of plastic. With Ruth showing the product line to local stores, sales reached $2 million within a few years.

In 1942 they teamed up with another industrial designer, Harold "Matt" Mattson, to launch a business manufacturing picture frames. Using leftover wood and plastic scrap, they later launched a sideline making dollhouse furniture. Within a few years, the company turned profitable and began to specialize in toys. It was called Mattel, a name fashioned from the "Matt" in Mattson and the "El" in Elliot.

In the late 1950s, Elliot was so preoccupied with the development of a talking doll--eventually marketed as Chatty Cathy--that he was of little help to Ruth when she came up with an idea of her own.

Noting their daughter Barbara's fascination with paper dolls of teenagers or career women, she realized there was a void in the market. She began to wonder if a three-dimensional version of the adult paper figures would have appeal. Why not sell a doll that allowed girls, as she would later say, to "dream dreams of the future"? This doll, she mused, would have to be lifelike. In other words, Handler believed, it would have to have breasts.

When she took the idea to Mattel's executives, who were men, they sneered that no mother would buy her daughter a grown-up doll with a bosom. "Our guys all said, 'Naw, no good,' " she recalled. "I tried more than once and nobody was interested, and I gave up."

Inspired by German Doll

She let the project idle until 1956 when, during a European vacation, she spied a German doll called Lilli in a display case. It had a voluptuous figure, reminiscent of the poster pinups that entertained soldiers during World War II. Handler brought the doll home to Mattel's designers and ordered them to draw up plans and find a manufacturer in Japan who could produce it.

Handler's dream made its debut at the 1959 American Toy Fair in New York City. Named for her daughter, "Barbie Teen-Age Fashion Model" had a girl-next-door ponytail, black-and-white striped bathing suit and teeny feet that fit into open-toed heels. Mattel sold more than 350,000 the first year, and orders soon backed up for the doll, which retailed for $3. "The minute that doll hit the counter, she walked right off," Handler said.

By the early 1960s, Mattel had annual sales of $100 million, due largely to Barbie. The company, then based in Hawthorne, annually turned out new versions of Barbie as well as an ever-expanding wardrobe of outfits and accessories befitting the new princess of toydom. Soon enough Barbie sprouted a coterie of friends and family. Ken, named for the Handlers' son, appeared in 1961; Midge in 1963; Skipper in 1965; and African American doll Christie, Barbie's first ethnic friend, in 1969. The first black Barbie came much later, in 1981.

Under pressure from feminists, Barbie evolved from fashion model to career woman, including doctor, astronaut, police officer, paramedic, athlete, veterinarian and teacher.

Over the years, the toy inspired Barbie clubs, conventions, magazines and Web sites. Barbie was immortalized by Andy Warhol, preserved in time capsules and inspired conceptual artists who spiked the doll's hair or posed it in pickle jars to make statements.

M.G. Lord, author of "Forever Barbie: The Unauthorized Biography of a Living Doll," called Barbie the most potent icon of American culture of the late 20th century.

"She's an archetypal female figure, she's something upon which little girls project their idealized selves," she said. "For most baby boomers, she has the same iconic resonance as any female saints, although without the same religious significance."

The National Organization for Women and other feminists targeted Barbie in the 1970s, arguing that the doll promoted unattainable expectations for young girls. If Barbie was 5 foot 6 instead of 11 1/2 inches tall, her measurements, would be 39-21-33. An academic expert once calculated that a woman's likelihood of being shaped like Barbie was less than 1 in 100,000.

(Ken was shaped somewhat more realistically: The chances of a boy developing his measurements were said to be 1 in 50.)

Handler said she did not take offense at the feminist broadsides and often noted that successful women had played with Barbie and told her the doll helped them enact their aspirations. Even artists' tortured interpretations of Barbie didn't bother her. "More power to them," said Handler, who kept a gold-plated Barbie in her Century City high-rise.

"My whole philosophy of Barbie was that through the doll, the little girl could be anything she wanted to be," Handler wrote in her 1994 autobiography. "Barbie always represented the fact that a woman has choices."

by Elaine Woo, L.A. Times

For Barbie 50 is fabulous.

Turning 50 is a milestone in any woman's life. Looks improve for some; others keep their girlish figures. Still others pull together a wardrobe that expresses their personality. But it's rare to have all three - unless you're made of plastic and your name is Barbie.

Born Barbara Millicent Roberts on March 9, 1959, in Willows, Wisconsin, Barbie, the 11 ½-inch, or 29-centimeter, tall doll, is the top-selling toy in the world, according to the market research company NPD Group. She has traveled the world and worked more than 100 different jobs over the past half century. But Barbie's real profession is clothes horse. The doll's manufacturer, Mattel, has estimated that more than one billion fashion items have been created for Barbie and her friends in the collection since 1959.

With that kind of wardrobe available it comes as no surprise that Barbie was the earliest connection for some top-name fashion designers to dress making and design.

From her first appearance in a graphic black and white swimsuit, Barbie has always had fashion sense. And over the years her tastes have grown to appreciate more designer fare. From Benetton and Burberry to Versace and Vera Wang, Barbie has been dressed by more than 70 designers, including Giorgio Armani, Christian Lacroix and Monique Lhuillier.

For her 50th birthday Mattel decided to highlight Barbie's connection to fashion and push the brand even further into the world of luxury and high-end design with a series of events and partnerships.

During New York Fashion Week in February, Mattel is staging a full-scale Barbie fashion show with 50 designers creating life-size outfits inspired by the doll. Although the names of the designers have yet to be announced, Christian Louboutin has confirmed that he will be designing pumps in Barbie's favorite shade of pink to be worn with each of his outfits.

Wang has concocted a Barbie wedding gown with a sale price exceeding $15,000. The dress comes with a Barbie doll wearing a miniature version of the same gown. Jeremy Scott has used Barbie as the inspiration for his capsule collection for the spring, and Bloomingdale's will dress up the windows of its New York flagship store during fashion week with Barbie dolls.

This year will also see the launch of a line of beauty products under the Barbie label with names like "Plastic Smooth" for skin care and "All Doll'd Up" for cosmetics. Meanwhile, Assouline, the publishing house known for its fashion tomes, has just published a $500 coffee-table book entitled "Barbie" with images of the doll dressed by designers like Miuccia Prada, Karl Lagerfield and Alexander McQueen.

The Barbie party extends beyond the United States. In Paris 50 accessory designers have used Barbie as their muse to create everything from shoes to handbags. The results are to be shown at the Prêt à Porter Paris salon this month. In Canada the bath and body line Cake Beauty has come up with a Barbie fragrance. And in Shanghai, Mattel will open this month the House of Barbie, an eight-story shop that will include a spa, Barbie museum, restaurants, clothing and dolls.

"Barbie is influencing the world because she is part of culture and life and fashion," said the designer Alber Elbaz. For Barbie 50 is fabulous.

By Jessica Michault, International Herald Tribune

Happy Valentine's Day

NICKNAMES

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS!

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..

• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.

• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

-- with thanks to Carolynn and Roy !

A Message of Hope

For more Inauguration Weekend Pictures, please go here

http://www.flickr.com/photos/28753713@N04/sets/72157612777598079/


Barack Obama took the oath of office Tuesday to become the nation’s 44th president at the U.S. Capitol in Washington. The text of his address is as follows:

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths.

What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].“

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2009. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

with thanks to the Big Boy for this one.

Digital Wizardry Department

In his new movie, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," Brad Pitt's Benjamin is completely computer generated - from the neck-up, for the movie's first 52 minutes.

Based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, "Benjamin Button" is about a man born in his '80s who ages backwards.

Visual effects artists at Digital Domain began by asking Pitt to make funny faces for their cameras, creating what they called the Brad Pitt Emotional Library.

Meanwhile, a series of other actors with Benjamin's physical characteristics stood in for Pitt on set. Visual effects work being what it is, the blue hoods meant they could check their vanity at the soundstage door.

"With the blue hood, it allows us to erase the head fairly easily and then apply the computer generated version of Brad on to that body," Ulbrich said.

Months after principal filming was finished, Pitt delivered his performance, while watching the scene on a monitor.

"I see it on screen and I'm playing off that, and I'm reacting to that," he said.

Then, using 3-D computer models, aged to perfection and loaded with that library of Brad-isms, animators could finesse Pitt's digital performance to make a perfect copy of the original

Benjamin Button also uses "Contour" developed by pioneering Silicon Valley company Rearden.

Contour has the actor's face covered in glow-in-the-dark makeup which is then digitally filmed by multiple cameras while lit by strobes, capturing facial data in fine detail.

The footage is then melded together into a single composite before the computer-animated boffins get to work on taking Brad back to his future - and narrowing the increasingly fine line between acting in front of the camera and animating behind it.

Source: CBS Evening News and the New Zealand Herald

Why Jersey Rocks

New Jersey rocks! The famous Les Paul invented the first
solid body electric guitar in Mahwah, in 1940.

New Jersey is a peninsula.

Highlands,New Jersey has the highest elevation along
the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida.

New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties
are classified as metropolitan areas.

New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky.

New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq mi.)
than Havana, Cuba.

New Jersey has the densest system of highways and
railroads in the US.

New Jersey has the highest cost of living

New Jersey has the highest cost of auto insurance.

New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the
nation.

New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is
sometimes referred to as the "Diner Capital of the
World."

New Jersey is home to Taylor Ham or Pork Roll.

Home to the best Italian hot dogs and Italian
sausage w/peppers and onions.

North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area
in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25
square mile radius.

New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis
Island.

The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine
ride by inventor John P. Holland

New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the
nation's most famous:

Asbury Park, Wildwood (Crest), Atlantic City, Seaside
Heights, Long Branch, Cape May.

New Jersey has the most stringent testing along its
coastline for water quality control than any other
seaboard state in the entire country.

New Jersey is a leading technology & industrial state
and is the largest chemical producing state in the
nation when you include pharmaceuticals.


Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the
best you can buy.

New Jersey is the world leader in blueberry and
cranberry production

Here's to New Jersey - the toast of the country! In
1642, the first brewery in America, opened in Hoboken.

New Jersey is a major seaport state with a large
seaport in the US, located in Elizabeth.

New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest
airports (in Newark), Liberty International.

George Washington slept there.

Several important Revolutionary War battles were
fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George
Washington (when he wasn't sleeping).

The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion
picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in
his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory. He also owned a home
and the first film studio in the nation in West
Orange. The first moving picture film was done there.

New Jersey also boasts the first town ever lit by
incandescent bulbs.

The first seaplane was built in Keyport , NJ.
The first airmail (to Chicago) was started from
Keyport, NJ.

The first phonograph records were made in Camden, NJ

New Jersey was home to the Miss America Pageant held
in Atlantic City.

The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named
the streets on its playing board after the actual
streets in Atlantic City. And, Atlantic City has the
longest boardwalk in the world, not to mention salt
water taffy.

New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area
outside of the Middle East countries. (Linden). One explosion there blew doors off and shattered windows in Elizabeth homes.

The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the
Watchung Mountains. The NY skylines is visible.

New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world.
(Union, NJ!!!)

New Jersey had the first medical center, in Jersey
City

The Pulaski SkyWay, from Jersey City to Newark, was
the first skyway highway.

New Jersey built the first tunnel under a river, the
Hudson (Holland Tunnel).

The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, NJ,
which is also the birthplace of Frank Sinatra.

The first intercollegiate football game was played in
New Brunswick in 1889 (Rutgers College played
Princeton).

The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden,
NJ, (but they're all gone now!). I saw the Godfather
in a drive in in Wayne NJ near the Willowbrook Mall.
The Passaic used to flood the area near the carwash
near the drive in. Gone now.

New Jersey is home to both of "NEW YORK'S" pro
football teams!

The first radio station and broadcast was in Paterson,
NJ.

The first FM radio broadcast was made from Alpine, NJ,
by Maj. Thomas Armstrong.

All New Jersey natives:

Sal Martorano, Jack Nicholson, Bruce Springsteen,
Bon Jovi, Jason Alexander, Queen Latifah, Susan
Sarandon, Connie Francis Shaq, Judy Blume, Aaron
Burr, Joan Robertson, Ken Kross, Dionne Warwick, Sarah
Vaughn, Budd Abbott, Lou Costello, Alan Ginsberg,
Norman Mailer, Marilynn McCoo, Flip Wilson,
Alexander Hamilton, Zack Braff Whitney Houston, Eddie
Money, Linda McElroy, Eileen Donnelly, Grover
Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Walt Whitman, Jerry
Lewis, Tom Cruise, Joyce Kilmer, Bruce Willis, Caesar
Romero, Lauryn Hill, Ice-T, Nick Adams, Kevin Fahey,
Nathan Lane, Sandra Dee, Danny DeVito, Richard Conti,
Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Joe DePasquale, Robert Blake,
John Forsythe, Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, Norman
Lloyd, Paul Simon, Jerry Herman, Gorden
McCrae, Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Phyllis Newman,
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth
Shue, Zebulon Pike, James Fennimore Cooper, Admiral
Wm.Halsey,Jr., Norman Schwarzkopf (his mother was a
famous opera singer and his father investigated the
Lindenberg kidnapping also in NJ), the outlaw Sundance
Kid, Dave Thomas (Wendy's), William Carlos Williams,
Ray Liotta, Robert Wuhl, Bob Reyers, Paul Robeson,
Ernie Kovacs, Joseph Macchia, Kelly Ripa, and, of
course, Francis Albert Sinatra and "Uncle Floyd"
Vivino.

The Great Falls in Paterson, on the Passaic River, is
the 2nd highest waterfall on the East Coast of the US.
William Carlos Williams wrote a book length set of
poems called Paterson.

You know you're from Jersey when . .

You don't think of fruit when people mention "The
Oranges."

You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six
Flags.

A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were
seven.

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or
drunk, at 3 A.M

At least three people in your family still love Bruce
Springsteen, and you know the town Jon Bon Jovi is
from.

You know what a "jug handle" is.

You know that WaWa is a convenience store. Don't
forget Cumberland Farms.

You know that there are no "beaches" in New
Jersey--there's the shore--and you don't
go "to the shore," you go "down the shore." And when
you are there, you're not "at the shore"; you are
"down the shore."

You know how to properly negotiate a circle.
You knew that the last sentence had to do with
driving.

You know that this is the only "New" state that
doesn't require "New" to identify it (try . . Mexico. . .
York..! . . Hampshire--doesn't work, does it?).

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a
fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.

You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a
sacrilege.

You don't think "What exit?" is very funny. (you will
get your ass kicked by most New Jerseyans)

You know that people from the 609 area code are "a
little different." Yes they are!

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to
Princeton--that's for out-of-staters.

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school
or local bar.
True.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different
malls.

You refer to all highways and interstates by their
numbers.

Every year you have at least one kid in your class
named Tony.

You know the location of every clip shown in the
Sopranos opening credits.

You've gotten on the wrong highway
trying to get out of the mall.

You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside
Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar,
and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.

It can be no other way.
You weren't raised in New Jersey--you were raised in
either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey

You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually
be part of the state.

You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys,
Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's.

You also remember Palisades Amusement Park.
(And the weeds in the distance was not a place you
wanted to visit...more happened there than Alexander
Hamilton being shot by Aaron Burr and it is a one way
destination for many and not because it is a shortcut
into the City)

You've had a boardwalk cheese steak and vinegar fries.

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in
February.

And finally. .You NEVER, NEVER NEVER, EVER pump your
own gas.

...with thanks to Monica from Doreen's office

How Do You Feel Rich?

Brace yourself: 2009 may be even more financially challenging than 2008.

Given that our collective American values got us into this mess perhaps we should identify which ones are responsible and replace them with values to help us get through it and avoid the same mistakes in the future.

Here are some values that drove our profligate behavior in recent decades and new ones with which to replace them:

- Greed or excess vs. moderation
- Instant gratification/spend now! vs. patience/save more!
- Materialism vs. generosity

If you're an over-spender, does this create tension with your significant other? If so, controlling your spending would benefit both your bank account and your relationship.

When tempted to buy something unnecessary, ask what do you value more, the item or your relationship, the item or your bank account.

Consciously comparing how much you prefer one thing over another prioritizes your values.

We forget that our grandparents accumulated their possessions after a lifetime of saving for them.

Contrast that with the financial stress many feel today, those who were tempted by the soaring real estate values that made them feel rich.

Those who refinanced their homes took out and spent cash on stuff now have lots of stuff and a home that's worth less than their mortgage.

We need to get back to the novel idea of buying only that for which we have cash. But you can stay on a disciplined budget and still enjoy the convenience of credit cards.

Finally, imagine a world where generosity is valued more than materialism. People literally giving the money they'd otherwise spend to someone who needs it. Or being more generous in spirit.

Thanks to Stephanie, excerpts from News-Press, 12.30.08

Noah's Ark of Stolen Computer Gear

Victor Papagno had two loves, federal prosecutor say: computers and stealing.

For the Navy, it was a devastating combination.

Over 10 years, authorities said, the computer technician with obsessive-compulsive disorder ran one of the biggest computer theft scams in local history. He stole more than 19,000 pieces of computer equipment from the offices of the Naval Research Laboratory in Southwest Washington.

The loot took up so much space that Papagno built a 2,775-square-foot garage to store it all. It cost the Navy more than $150,000 to inventory the stash of keyboards, monitors, floppy disks, hard drives, cables, batteries and a device to make security badges. When investigators came to haul the equipment away from Papagno's Charles County home, they needed an 18-wheeler.

He got away with stealing computer components from a secure Navy facility by walking out the front door with the booty in boxes -- an average of five items a day over a decade. The Navy never caught on. The tip that brought him down last year came from his estranged wife, authorities said.

The 40-year-old computer specialist, who pleaded guilty in October to theft of government property, was sentenced yesterday to 18 months in prison by U.S. District Judge Paul L. Friedman. The judge said he was disturbed by the "quantity, the value and the sensitivity" of the stolen items and ordered Papagno to repay the $159,000 it cost the Navy to retrieve and inventory the goods.

Papagno and his attorney blamed his stealing on mental illness, including obsessive-compulsive disorder. He was compelled to hoard things, particularly computer components, they said; Papagno did not sell most of the stuff, much of it old and destined for recycling bins or the trash heap. "I couldn't throw things away," Papagno told Friedman.

"One way to look at this crime is that it was about collecting," said Assistant U.S. Attorney James Mitzelfeld. "It's like the art buff stealing artwork because he wants to have his own collection."

Investigators were concerned that Papagno had pilfered sensitive data from the Navy lab. More than 7,700 stolen items held data. One floppy disk, for example, contained personal information on 300 employees at the laboratory. Investigators also found a device that creates security badges for laboratory workers. In his bedroom dresser, they found badges belonging to 10 of Papagno's co-workers, authorities said.

Scores of computer components in Papagno's house in Hughesville were new, some still in the packaging. Among them: 20 Macintosh G4 computers with a list price of $4,000 each, 10 Apple flat-screen monitors worth $1,500 each, external hard drives worth $350 and four Apple Thinkpad laptops that retail for $3,500 each. Both sides put the value of the stolen goods at more than $120,000. The items were worth at least $1.6 million new.

He also targeted retailers with bogus manufacturer coupons and rebate certificates. Investigators said he bought legitimate ones on eBay, then created copies on his computer. He bought goods with them and returned the items for gift cards. Investigators said they found "bags of gift cards and receipts" in Papagno's home.

Papagno began stealing in 1997 while he was working as a computer specialist at the Navy lab. He told investigators it was easy; the Navy had lax inventory controls and bought computers with "reckless abandon." The Navy did not track items worth less than $2,500, investigators said.

Papagno told authorities he was building a "Noah's Ark of Computer land," special agent Timothy Hall of the Navy Criminal Investigative Service wrote in court papers. The computer specialist said he "loved to steal," Hall wrote, and he told a friend that he planned to auction the equipment on eBay.

Over the years, Papagno sold some of the equipment to friends and gave away other items. He used some parts in his "freelance" business, installing and upgrading computer networks and software, prosecutors said.

When he began to run out of space at home, he persuaded one friend to store items in the basement of her 90-year-old father's house, investigators said, and another to rent a storage locker for him so his wife would not find out. But those were temporary solutions.

In 2000, investigators said, Papagno built the garage. It cost him $50,000.

Source: Washington Post, December 23, 2008

Secret Santa gives out more than a million dollars.

Just imagine you go to a thrift store - when a stranger comes over sounding like he’s trying to pick up … you.

“Shop in this place very often?” a man says. He lures you behind said door … “Come over here,” he says. And then he whispers: “I’m Secret Santa.”

“This is for you,” he says, handing his victim some money. “Merry Christmas.”

Secret Santa, who wishes to remain secret, will only say that he is a businessman from Kansas City. He crossed the country - going into dozens of thrift stores, laundromats and bus stations, and going up to hundreds of strangers who seem like they could use a Franklin or two. “I’d like to give you this: $200,” Santa says.

By Christmas he gave out $75,000 worth of hundred-dollar bills. “Is this for real?” one man, named Robert Young, asked. “It's for real, buddy,” Santa said. “And I can keep it?” Young asked. “It's yours and you can keep it,” Santa said. “God bless you,” Young said. Young is homeless. He was down to his last 20 cents.

Susan Dahl is homeless, too. She was down to her last straw. “You have use for it?” Santa asked. “Oh yes, I'm going to go find myself a motel room and get a shower. I've been in the same clothes, people, for 5 days!” Dahl said. “I'm the happiest person in the world right now.”

Secret Santa says that joy, that tremendous return on investment - is part of the reason he’s doing this. But here’s the bigger reason: Larry Stewart. Stewart was the original Secret Santa. He kept his identity hidden for 25 years, while giving out more than a million dollars. Stewart said of his Secret Santa gig: "It warms my heart." Stewart died last year of esophageal cancer.

And on his death bed, a dear friend promised to not let Secret Santa die with him. “He just squeezed my hand,” Secret Santa said. “He didn't say anything.” So, Secret Santa carries on, making perfect smiles on perfect strangers. And like Stewart before, all he ever asks in return is that people do a random act of kindness for someone else someday. “Can you do that?” he asked one woman. “You betcha,” she said. “Secret Santa lives in each and everyone of us,” Santa said. “It's just a matter of letting him out."

Source: CBS News Correspondent Steve Hartman

Mark Felt: "We did get the whole truth out".

Mark Felt, who was the source known as “Deep Throat” in the 1972 Watergate scandal, has died. He was 95.

Mark Felt died in his home in Santa Rosa, California. Felt was “Deep Throat,” the infamous source for Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein regarding the burglary of the Democratic Party National Committee headquarters in 1972. The scandal that resulted from the break-in brought down former President Richard Nixon. Woodward and Bernstein’s articles in the Washington Post resulted in a special prosecutor investigation that led to President Nixon’s resignation

The true identity of “Deep Throat” remained a secret until May 2005, when Felt’s identity was revealed in an article for Vanity Fair magazine.

For decades, he was known only as “Deep Throat,” a double entendre: Felt was providing information on the condition of complete anonymity, known as "deep background," and his actions coincided with a popular 1972 porn movie of the same name.

Woodward claimed that when he wanted to meet Deep Throat, he would move a flowerpot with a red flag on the balcony of his apartment, number 617, at the Webster House at 1718 P Street, Northwest, and when Deep Throat wanted a meeting, he would circle the page number on page twenty of Woodward's copy of The New York Times and draw clock hands to signal the hour.

"People will debate for a long time whether I did the right thing by helping Woodward," Felt wrote in his 2006 memoir, "A G-Man's Life: The FBI, `Deep Throat' and the Struggle for Honor in Washington." "The bottom line is that we did get the whole truth out, and isn't that what the FBI is supposed to do?

What Have They Been Doing Department?

Does anybody out remember why the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY was established during the
Carter Administration?

Anybody? Anything? No?

Didn't think so.

Bottom line . . we've spent several hundred billion dollars in support of an agency the reason for which not one person who reads this can remember.

Ready? It was very simple, and at the time everybody thought it very appropriate.

The Department of Energy was instituted 8/4/77 "to lessen our dependence on foreign oil". Pretty efficient government, huh?

And now it's 2008, 31 years later, and the budget for this organization is now $24 billion a year, with 16,000 federal employees, and 100,000 contract workers.

And now we are going to turn the banking system and Detroit's big 3 over to them.

Ah yes, good ole bureaucracy.

...with thanks to Ernie

Kids' Science Exam Answers

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

...with thanks to Carolyn

Kids Say The Darnest Things...

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

...with thanks to Carolyn !

Drowning Nation

The Pacific island-nation of Tuvalu is the first country to have evacuated some of its citizens because of the sea-level rise driven by global warming. The highest point on the island sits only 15 feet above sea level. A quarter of the nation’s population has already been evacuated. Will this be the first island nation to disappear as a result of climate change?

Lego King

Who doesn't remember growing up playing with Legos? Most kids ultimately pack up their Legos and move on. But Nathan Sawaya never did.

The 35-year-old New Yorker makes a six-figure living as a Lego artist, creating large-scale works of art using tens of thousands of the plastic pieces.

The New Orleans Public Library commissioned this work from Sawaya to celebrate the city's rebirth. It contains over 120,000 bricks and took over six weeks to build.

Legos were the furthest thing from his mind when he set out in the working world. After graduating New York University Law School, Sawaya became a Wall Street attorney, earning six-figures—and working in a high-stress environment. To relax after long hours at the office, he would work on art projects at night, One of Sawaya's first hobbyist projects with Legos was an eight-foot-tall pencil. Friends would come over to gawk at it, Visitors to the site sent in requests, such as Lego renderings of portraits of their children.

The hobby became the real thing in 2004 after he won a competition sponsored by Lego to find the best builder in the U.S. He quit his job and became one of Lego's "master model builders," creating sculptures for its theme park in San Diego. They paid him just $13 an hour, but it gave him good training for when he returned to New York to create his own Lego works full-time.

Sawaya now keeps 1.5 million Lego bricks, meticulously organized by shape and color into clear bins. Sawaya says he now works more hours per week than ever but gets artistic gratification from his Lego creations, particularly when he hears from children who are inspired by his projects.

You can buy a life-size Lego vanity-sculpture of yourself from this year’s Nieman Marcus catalog for a mere $60,000


Source: Conde Nast Portfolio.com

And We Want To Make This A State Run Enterprise?

Click to enlarge these pix !

Tradition Trivia: The Custom of Sending Christmas Cards

The custom of sending Christmas cards started in Britain in 1840 when the first 'Penny Post' public postal deliveries began. Helped by the new railway system, the public postal service was the 19th century's communication revolution, just as email is for us today.

As printing methods improved, Christmas cards were produced in large numbers from about 1860. They became even more popular in Britain when a card could be posted in an unsealed envelope for one half-penny - half the price of an ordinary letter.

My Next Life by Woody Allen

In my next life I want to live my life backwards.
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, so you go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous; then you are ready for high school.
You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play.
You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born.
And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then,
Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
I rest my case.

...thanks Big Boy for this one.