Colonoscopy Jokes

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

• "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
• "Take it easy doc, you're going where no man has ever done before."
• "Can you hear me NOW?"
• "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
• "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
• "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
• "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
• "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey ..."
• "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
• "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
• "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
• "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
• "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"