Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Clueless and Confused - Mature Haiku

There's a new illness sweeping the nation called Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder (AAADD).

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study,so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.  Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

- The car isn't washed,
- The bills aren't paid,
- There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter,
- The flowers don't have enough water,
- There is still only 1 check in my check book,
- I can't find the remote,
- I can't find my glasses,
- and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today.  I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

thanks to Linda for this gem !

Monday, May 23, 2011

About the Cover of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band



The old Beatles are at left side, standing graveside, mourning their death.  Legend is this signified when the Beatles realized they could no longer tour and play live dates.  The crowds were too large, the noise was too great even for them to hear themselves playing, and the crazies and stalkers were rearing up.  

So from this point forward, the new Beatles - shown front and center in their Sgt. Peppers regalia - became a studio band, safely nestled away in the Abbey Road studios.

Another reason for their departure from the stage.  By 1967, the Beatles were creating music that was so electronically complex for the time it could not be reproduced live using the technology of the day.  

This was the advent of post-production effects.  For example, the rising orchestra-glissando and final chord for "Day In The Life" was produced by all 4 Beatles and George Martin banging on 3 pianos simultaneously. As the sound diminished, the recording engineer boosted to faders. The resulting note lasts 42 seconds, and the studio air conditioners can be heard toward the end as the faders were pushed to the limit to record it.
 
The rising orchestra-glissando and the thundering sound are reminiscent of "Entry of the Gods into Valhalla" from Richard Wagner's opera "Das Rheingold," where after the rising glissando, Thor beats with his hammer. George Martin said in his 1979 book All You Need is Ears that the glissando was Lennon's idea. After Lennon's death, Martin seems to have changed his mind. In his 1995 book Summer of Love: The Making of Sgt. Pepper, he states that the rising orchestra-glissando was McCartney's idea. (thanks to Johan Cavalli, who is a music historian in Stockholm).
 

This album cover was created by Jann Haworth and Peter Blake. They won the Grammy Award for Best Album Cover, Graphic Arts in 1968 for their work on this cover.


The celebrities and items featured on the front cover are (by row, left to right):


Top row:


Sri Yukteswar Giri (Hindu guru)
Aleister Crowley (occultist)
Mae West (actress)
Lenny Bruce (comedian)
Karlheinz Stockhausen (composer)
W. C. Fields (comedian/actor)
Carl Gustav Jung (psychiatrist)
Edgar Allan Poe (writer)
Fred Astaire (actor/dancer)
Richard Merkin (artist)
The Vargas Girl (by artist Alberto Vargas)
Huntz Hall (actor)
Simon Rodia (designer and builder of the Watts Towers)
Bob Dylan (singer/songwriter)


Second row:


Aubrey Beardsley (illustrator)
Sir Robert Peel (19th century British Prime Minister)
Aldous Huxley (writer)
Dylan Thomas (poet)
Terry Southern (writer)
Dion (singer)
Tony Curtis (actor)
Wallace Berman (artist)
Tommy Handley (comedian)
Marilyn Monroe (actress)
William S. Burroughs (writer)
Sri Mahavatar Babaji (Hindu guru)
Stan Laurel (actor/comedian)
Richard Lindner (artist)
Oliver Hardy (actor/comedian)
Karl Marx (political philosopher)
H. G. Wells (writer)
Sri Paramahansa Yogananda (Hindu guru)
Sigmund Freud (psychiatrist) - barely visible below Bob Dylan
Anonymous (hairdresser's wax dummy)


Third row:


Stuart Sutcliffe (artist/former Beatle)
Anonymous (hairdresser's wax dummy)
Max Miller (comedian)
A "Petty Girl" (by artist George Petty)
Marlon Brando (actor)
Tom Mix (actor)
Oscar Wilde (writer)
Tyrone Power (actor)
Larry Bell (artist)
Dr. David Livingstone (missionary/explorer)
Johnny Weissmuller (Olympic swimmer/Tarzan actor)
Stephen Crane (writer) - barely visible between Issy Bonn's head and raised arm
Issy Bonn (comedian)
George Bernard Shaw (playwright)
H. C. Westermann (sculptor)
Albert Stubbins (football player)
Sri Lahiri Mahasaya (guru)
Lewis Carroll (writer)
T. E. Lawrence ("Lawrence of Arabia")


Front row:


Wax model of Sonny Liston (boxer)
A "Petty Girl" (by George Petty)
Wax model of George Harrison
Wax model of John Lennon
Shirley Temple (child actress) - barely visible, first of three appearances on the cover
Wax model of Ringo Starr
Wax model of Paul McCartney
Albert Einstein (physicist) - largely obscured
John Lennon holding a Wagner Tuba
Ringo Starr holding a trumpet
Paul McCartney holding a Cor Anglais
George Harrison holding a flute
Bobby Breen (singer)
Marlene Dietrich (actress/singer)
An American legionnaire[1]
Diana Dors (actress)
Shirley Temple (child actress) - second appearance on the cover


Other objects within the group include:


Cloth grandmother-figure by Jann Haworth
Cloth doll by Haworth of Shirley Temple wearing a sweater that reads "Welcome The Rolling Stones"
A ceramic Mexican craft known as a Tree of Life from Metepec
A 9-inch Sony television set[2] - the receipt is owned by a curator of a museum dedicated to The Beatles in Japan.
A stone figure of a girl
Another stone figure
A statue brought over from John Lennon's house
A trophy
A doll of the Hindu goddess Lakshmi
A drum skin, designed by fairground artist Joe Ephgrave
A hookah (water pipe)
A velvet snake
A Fukusuke, Japanese china figure
A stone figure of Snow White
A garden gnome
A euphonium/baritone horn


People who were originally intended for the front cover but were ultimately excluded:


Leo Gorcey - was modelled and originally included to the left of Huntz Hall, but was subsequently removed when a fee of $400 was requested for the use of the actor's likeness.[3][4]
Mohandas Gandhi - was modelled and originally included to the right of Lewis Carroll, but was subsequently removed.[3][4] According to McCartney, "Gandhi also had to go because the head of EMI, Sir Joe Lockwood, said that in India they wouldn't allow the record to be printed".[1]
Jesus Christ - was requested by Lennon,[1] but not modelled because the LP would be released only a few months after Lennon's Jesus statement.[5]
Adolf Hitler - was modelled and was visible in early photographs of the montage, positioned to the right of Larry Bell, but was eventually obscured by Johnny Weissmuller in the final image.[5]

from:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_images_on_the_cover_of_Sgt._Pepper%27s_Lonely_Hearts_Club_Band

http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=129

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Front Row Seat at Cape Canaveral

Hanger to Liftoff in just 4 minutes.  
Note: most of the video is muted, but enjoy the ride.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Tuesday, May 17, 2011





from: http://hubpages.com/hub/Lost-in-Space-My-Ten-Best-Episodes


Lost in Space, the popular television series which aired between 1965 and 1968, was intended as an outer-space adaption of Swiss Family Robinson. Set in the “distant” future of 1997, Irwin Allen’s show was unfairly viewed as an infantile version of Star Trek. Allen never sought to match the philosophical tone of Gene Roddenberry’s series, however, and both producers considered the comparison unfair. Allen was a storyteller, and the tales sprung from his studio were frequently imaginative and quite good.

Lost in Space starred Guy Williams as John Robinson; June Lockhart was featured as his wife, Maureen; their three children were Judy (Marta Kristen), Penny (Angela Cartwright), and Will (Billy Mumy). They were accompanied on their mission by Major Don West, portrayed by Mark Goddard.

After the pilot was filmed, it was decided the show needed a regular antagonist and Jonathan Harris was cast as Dr. Zachary Smith. Smith was originally written as a villain, but Harris slowly molded him into a lovable troublemaker.

Another addition to the cast was an “environmental control” robot. This machine started out as mere equipment but morphed into a member of the family, replete with a personality capable of love and pathos. These two late additions to the cast teamed with Billy Mumy and became the de facto focus of the program, much to the chagrin of Guy Williams and the other actors. This shift in focus recast the series into a fantasy/farce, but one still capable of producing many fine moments.

My 10 "Best" Lost in Space Episodes

The Reluctant Stowaway (Episode 1): This episode describes earth’s dangerous overcrowding and introduces us to the first family to reach out into space in search of habitable worlds. It tours the ship that will transport them to another world while the family sleeps in suspended animation during their five year journey. Dr. Smith attempts to sabotage the mission by reprogramming their robot to destroy the Jupiter II eight hours after launch, but is trapped on board at lift-off. His weight throws the ship off course and into the path of a meteor shower. He awakens the family in time to save the ship from both the meteors and the robot, but the ship is now hopelessly lost in space. A lot happens for a first episode, and this show was as good as nearly anything the original Star Trek offered. The Jupiter II and the Robot had a sophisticated look and the special effects were good. The ghostly howl of the ship in flight, coupled with the family frozen in their cryogenic tubes, provided a particularly haunting image.

The Keeper (Parts I and II): The Robinson’s face a powerful humanoid called the Keeper, who collects two specimens of each type of creature in the galaxy. He views humans as a primitive species and hopes through trickery to add Will and Penny to his collection. Dr. Smith inadvertently releases the Keeper’s entire collection, and the Keeper demands the children in return for recapturing the dangerous creatures with his cosmic-powered staff. The Robinson family’s compassion and spirit eventually convinces the Keeper that humans would never adjust to captivity, and he departs. This episode makes use of virtually every monster in the Lost in Space catalog of aliens, and it is a chilling sight watching this collection of creatures leave the Keeper’s ship. This is the only two-part episode throughout the run of the series.

Visit to a Hostile Planet: The Jupiter II exceeds the speed of light and propels the Robinsons back to Earth, but to their dismay they have traveled back in time to 1947. The locals consider them aliens and form a posse to capture them. Dr. Smith, delighted to be back on Earth in any time, dons a disguise and aids in imprisoning the Robinson family. The Robinsons only want to leave without incident, and Will finally convinces Smith to let everyone go. Fearing the loneliness he would endure stranded in Earth’s past, Dr. Smith reluctantly abandons his plan to stay and rejoins the family. The mixture of futuristic and mundane images is captivating, with the Jupiter II sitting in a parking lot and the Robinsons wandering about a saw mill in their flight suits inspecting old cars and trying to use a telephone.

Follow the Leader: John Robinson’s body is possessed by a long-dead alien named Kanto. As Robinson, Kanto reveals plans to repair the Jupiter II and leave the planet. He is oblivious to the strain he places them under as he mercilessly pushes for completion of the project. The Robot concludes that Robinson is possessed but the family finds this difficult to accept. Kanto eventually reveals his purpose first to Dr. Smith and then Will, just before intending to kill the boy. Will manages to reach out to his father and John Robinson frees himself from Kanto’s influence. Guy Williams does a masterful job of portraying an “evil” Professor Robinson, and one feels a true sense of menace as the personality of John/Kanto dominates the rest of the family.

Condemned of Space:  The Robinsons repair the Jupiter II and return to space, lifting off just before a comet destroys the planet they inhabited. After accidentally losing the Robot in space and dodging a supernova, they rendezvous with an alien space station in hopes of finding equipment to salvage and use in the Jupiter II. As they explore the station they discover it is a prison ship, filled with convicts frozen in suspended animation. Dr. Smith frees one of the prisoners who, upon learning the station’s clock monitoring their time served has malfunctioned, attempts to liberate the other captives and stage a revolt. John Robinson repairs the clock, and the prisoners are freed to pursue new lives as rehabilitated citizens. This episode includes the second appearance of “Robby the Robot” from the movie “Forbidden Planet”.

Flight into the Future: The Jupiter II approaches a bright green world while Will and Dr. Smith check the systems in their space pod. Smith accidentally launches the pod and Will is forced to land on the mysterious planet. The Robinsons swiftly follow in the Jupiter II. After their landing, Will and Smith succumb to fatigue and stop for a nap. When they awaken they find themselves 270 years in the future. There they discover the remains of the Jupiter II, a statue of the Robot, and their own descendents, including a look-alike of Judy. The three learn they have been subjected to illusions created by a mysterious computer designed to frighten away intruders. The Robot blasts the computer with a bolt of electricity, and the danger is ended. The vision of the rusted, abandoned Jupiter II is an interesting sight, and the costume provided Judy’s “descendent” showcased Marta Kristen’s considerable beauty.

Space Creature: The Jupiter II is trapped in the gravitational field of a mysterious planet, its atmosphere a strange mixture of methane and an evil, living organism that feeds on fear. A mist forms over the ship’s viewport and the Robinsons are frozen into immobility. While suspended, a giant claw moves across the viewport, the airlock is opened, and some of the mist enters the ship. As the family goes about their business, they begin to disappear. Maureen first, then Judy, and next Penny all vanish into thin air. At first Dr. Smith is relieved to believe only the women were vanishing, but Major West also disappears and finally all are gone but Will. Dr. Smith inexplicably returns to the ship, but is possessed by the malevolent force attacking the family and menaces Will. Will learns the creature is his own inner, evil instincts and realizes it cannot hurt him. He forces it to flee Dr. Smith’s body and finally tricks the creature into venturing too close to the ship’s power core, where it is destroyed. This episode had the mood and feel of Agatha Christie’s popular novel, “And Then There Were None”, with the inevitable disappearance of the family.

The Anti-Matter Man: The John Robinson and Major West of an alternate universe seek a means to escape into the Robinson’s world. The evil John does exactly that, physically forcing our John Robinson to replace him in the anti-matter realm. Convincing the family he is one of them, he pushes to make repairs on the Jupiter II and blast off. The Robot determines what has happened and joins Will in trying to rescue his father. The alternate John forces Will to aid him, but the real Robinson escapes and catches up with them. A battle ensues, and the evil John falls into a realm between universes. This episode was similar in tone to “Follow the Leader”, with Guy Williams again portraying an evil John Robinson trying to repair the ship and leave before the truth about him is discovered. An “anti-matter Robot” was an intriguing sight to behold.

Collision of Planets: A group of alien “Hell’s Angels” are assigned the task of blowing up the planet Chromo because of its unstable orbit. Unfortunately, the Robinsons land there to make repairs on the Jupiter II. John Robinson and Major West approach the hippie demolition team to explain their predicament, but they are unfazed. If the family is on the planet when it explodes, that’s just too bad. Meanwhile Will, the Robot and Dr. Smith find a case filled with demolition materials and open it. A strange gas seeps out and initially appears to kill Dr. Smith, but instead turns his hair green and gives him superhuman strength. With his newfound power Smith confronts the hippies, but they discover the source of Smith’s strength is his hair and cut it off. John Robinson finds the trio and blasts the hippie’s bikes with his laser pistol. Since the bikers are now trapped also, the Robinsons have time to make repairs and depart. Dr. Smith is an amusing mixture of Samson and the Hulk in this episode and the bikers are entertaining throughout.

Revolt of the Androids: Dr. Smith is searching for rubies when he’s attacked by a furry monster. As he explains his story to Will and the Robot, an immobilized super-android named IDAK (Instant Destroyer and Killer) materializes near them. Will repairs its controls and it attacks, but is easily evaded as the android stumbles over a rock. IDAK explains its purpose is to destroy another android but its powers are malfunctioning. Meanwhile, Judy and Penny find the android Verda (first featured in the episode “The Android Machine”), who is actually IDAK’s target. He confronts Verda but the others convince IDAK she is human. A second, more powerful IDAK is sent to complete the mission, but the first IDAK joins the Robinsons in defending Verda. IDAK was made to resemble Superman with red and blue tights and an emblem on his chest. The Robot even references Superman as he jokingly states that IDAK (tripping over a rock at the time) won’t leap over any tall buildings in a single bound. This is the only episode from season two to make my favorites list.

Lost in Space didn’t gain a cult following as Star Trek did, but garnered acceptable ratings over its three year run and was actually renewed for a fourth season. It was a fun, enjoyable program in the ‘60s that never got the respect it deserved.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

New Talking Dogs Clip



Jersey Floor Video by Jimmy Fallon

This week, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler visit the Jersey Floor gang !

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Distraction Can Be A Good Thing !

from:


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703584804576144192132144506.html?KEYWORDS=Lehrer


We live in a time that worships attention. When we need to work, we force ourselves to focus, to stare straight ahead at the computer screen. There's a Starbucks on seemingly every corner—caffeine makes it easier to concentrate—and when coffee isn't enough, we chug Red Bull.

In fact, the ability to pay attention is considered such an essential life skill that the lack of it has become a widespread medical problem. Nearly 10% of American children are now diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

In recent years, however, scientists have begun to outline the surprising benefits of not paying attention. Sometimes, too much focus can backfire; all that caffeine gets in the way. 

For instance, researchers have found a surprising link between daydreaming and creativity—people who daydream more are also better at generating new ideas. Other studies have found that employees are more productive when they're allowed to engage in "Internet leisure browsing" and that people unable to concentrate due to severe brain damage actually score above average on various problem-solving tasks.

A new study led by researchers at the University of Memphis and the University of Michigan extends this theme. The scientists measured the success of 60 undergraduates in various fields, from the visual arts to science. They asked the students if they'd ever won a prize at a juried art show or been honored at a science fair. In every domain, students who had been diagnosed with attention-deficit disorder achieved more: Their inability to focus turned out to be a creative advantage.

And this lesson doesn't just apply to people with a full-fledged disorder. A few years ago, scientists at the University of Toronto and Harvard gave a short mental test to 86 Harvard undergraduates. The test was designed to measure their ability to ignore irrelevant stimuli, such as the air-conditioner humming in the background or the conversation taking place nearby. This skill is typically seen as an essential component of productivity, since it keeps people from getting distracted by extraneous information.

Here's where the data get interesting: Those undergrads who had a tougher time ignoring unrelated stuff were also seven times more likely to be rated as "eminent creative achievers" based on their previous accomplishments. (The association was particularly strong among distractible students with high IQs.)

According to the scientists, the inability to focus helps ensure a richer mixture of thoughts in consciousness. Because these people struggled to filter the world, they ended up letting everything in. They couldn't help but be open-minded.

Such lapses in attention turn out to be a crucial creative skill. When we're faced with a difficult problem, the most obvious solution—that first idea we focus on—is probably wrong. 

At such moments, it often helps to consider far-fetched possibilities, to approach the task from an unconventional perspective. And this is why distraction is helpful: People unable to focus are more likely to consider information that might seem irrelevant but will later inspire the breakthrough. When we don't know where to look, we need to look everywhere.

This doesn't mean, of course, that attention isn't an important mental skill, or that attention-deficit disorders aren't a serious problem. There's clearly nothing advantageous about struggling in the classroom, or not being able to follow instructions. (It's also worth pointing out that these studies all involve college students, which doesn't tell us anything about those kids with ADHD who fail to graduate from high school. Distraction might be a cognitive luxury that not everyone can afford.)

Nevertheless, this new research demonstrates that, for a certain segment of the population, distractibility can actually be a net positive. Although we think that more attention can solve everything—that the best strategy is always a strict focus fueled by triple espressos—that's not the case. Sometimes, the most productive thing we can do is surf the Web and eavesdrop on that conversation next door.

Information Overload

from:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704900004576152384123140652.html?KEYWORDS=Bialik


The latest information about information overload is a lot to handle.  Wielding numbers that stretched to 20 or more digits, researchers recently reported on the world's massive ability to store, communicate and compute information.


All three have grown at annual rates of at least 23% since 1986, according to a study published this month in Science.

Translated to a human scale, the massive numbers mean that the average person in 2007 was transmitting the informational equivalent of six newspapers per day, and receiving, in turn, 174 newspapers of data.

For data engineers, this might seem like cause for celebrating humanity's expanding universe of information. For the rest of us, it is another reminder that information is piling up at overwhelming rates.

But the digital avalanche isn't as massive as those numbers suggest. Much of the growth reflects the surge in high-resolution video and photos. In addition, while there is much more information available, each piece is being consumed, on average, by far fewer people than in the past.

Also, heavy Internet users—think downloaders of music and movies, or digital-photo fiends—are skewing the numbers. The average person doesn't have a high-speed line, let alone the ability to read six newspapers per day.

Not all forms of information grew at the same pace, the Science study reveals. The amount of data stored in books roughly doubled between 1986 and 2007, a period during which the world population increased by about a third.

The increase in newsprint was a relatively manageable 91%, while available storage—a barometer researchers used to estimate the quantity of information—in audio cassettes, vinyl records and photo negatives all declined.

And nearly half the overall growth came from rapid improvements in hard-drive technology, making it possible to store high-resolution videos, photos and videogames as well as digital music.

Studies looking at the information glut do generally agree that there has been an enormous upsurge in information.

The Science study—which involved compiling disparate studies of the number of various devices and their capacity—found that in 2007, humanity was able to store 295 exabytes of information. That's 295 billion gigabytes, or about 500 million times the capacity of a typical desktop computer.

One byte is equivalent to eight bits, which are the smallest units of information. A single bit is the equivalent of answering one yes-or-no question.

Martin Hilbert, the lead author of the study, says that quantifying information is vital in order to understand it.

"If you cannot express it in numbers, you cannot do science with it," says Dr. Hilbert, an economist and researcher at the University of Southern California's Annenberg School for Communication & Journalism.

Reducing all pieces of knowledge—whether pixels, words or musical notes—to digital bits makes them easier to analyze. But bits are neutral about the value of knowledge. "You can get a lot of information out of reading a half-megabyte book, compared to watching a one-gigabyte TV show," says Roger Bohn, director of the Global Information Industry Center at University of California, San Diego. Yet in 2007, the world's capacity to store video was about 6,000 times greater, in terms of bytes, than the storage capacity of paper, according to the Science study. That, says Prof. Bohn, is a "testament to how efficient language is for communicating concisely."
  
What is less ambiguous is that each piece of information, on average, gets less exposure today than in the past. W. Russell Neuman, professor of media technology at the University of Michigan, is leading a study that quantifies information in terms of minutes—how much time Americans devote to consuming information, and how much time it would take to consume all the available information.

In preliminary results, published online in 2009, the researchers found that in 2005 people spent about one minute consuming media for every 1,000 minutes available—a ratio that has grown roughly tenfold since 1960.

While the amount of information is growing very fast, so might our capacity to use or filter it, says Prof. Neuman. He notes that many new tools increase ease of consumption, such as search engines and digital video recorders.

Counting the world's bytes, he says, makes the mistake of "focusing simply on capacities of machines, and not on how people are responding to the capacities of machines."

Monday, May 2, 2011

Red Flags That Tempt I.R.S Auditers + Average Deduction Amounts By Income Bracket

from:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Red-flags-that-tempt-the-tax-brn-4195544266.html?x=0&.v=1

It is the most dreaded letter a taxpayer can receive.

Dear Taxpayer,
Some of the information that you provided to us does not agree with the information we received from other sources.
-- The Internal Revenue Service

You've just joined an elite club, one whose initiation ritual is an IRS audit. Unfortunately, you can't refuse membership -- and the dues could be astronomical.

When the IRS Restructuring and Reform Act was enacted in 1998, lawmakers ordered the agency to focus more on taxpayer rights instead of collection activities. Not surprisingly, the number of audits -- or examinations, as the agency prefers to call them -- dropped dramatically.

The first year of the kinder, gentler IRS, about one of every 79 tax returns was audited. By 2003, it was even easier for tax scofflaws; that year, according to IRS data, only one of every 150 individual taxpayers was audited.

But the tax times, they are a-changing.

More audit attention

IRS Commissioner Doug Shulman says he wants to balance his agency's enforcement and service responsibilities. To that end, he has announced programs designed to take into consideration the financial struggles that many taxpayers are encountering in today's economy.

But balance doesn't mean taxpayers are off the hook. Facing pressure from a Congress dealing with a growing federal deficit, the IRS has made it clear it takes the enforcement portion of its job seriously.

Audits have been increasing, although the pace was slow in fiscal year 2010. According to the IRS' 2010 annual data book, individual taxpayer audits last year were up slightly, just more than 1 percent. Of that number, says the IRS, individual income tax returns reporting higher adjusted gross incomes were more likely to be examined.

But the rich aren't the only targets. Recent tax law changes, particularly when it comes to confusing tax breaks such as the first-time homebuyer credit, always prompt closer looks at returns. And if you're a small-business person, either as a partnership or a Schedule C filer reporting self-employment income on your personal tax return, make sure you take extra care with your returns.

And those with lower incomes that make them eligible for the complicated earned income tax credit also face added scrutiny. Last year, nearly 30 percent of audited returns claimed this tax credit.

What's the DIF?

When it comes to avoiding prying IRS eyes, it's best to be just one of the crowd. "Don't draw any more attention to your return than you need to," says Robert G. Nath, author of "The Unofficial Guide to Dealing with the IRS." "Simple, plain-vanilla returns are fairly safe."

The IRS says there are several ways a return can be selected for audit and the first is via the agency's computer-scoring system known as Discriminant Information Function, or DIF. The IRS evaluates tax returns based on IRS formulas, and DIF is based on deductions, credits and exemptions with norms for taxpayers in each of the income brackets.

The actual scoring formula to determine which tax returns are most likely to be in error is a closely guarded secret. But Nath, a tax attorney in the Washington, D.C., area, says it's no mystery the system is designed to screen for returns that could put more money in the government Treasury.

How do your deductions compare?

Tax experts believe one discriminant information function component looks at average deduction amounts. This allows IRS examiners to spot inconsistencies, such as a high mortgage interest deduction and low income.

Tax specialists at CCH Inc. examined 2008 return statistics, the latest complete data, and came up with the following itemized deduction averages. These are for illustrative purposes only. CCH experts note that the IRS takes a dim view of taxpayers who base their claimed deductions on these figures. The numbers can be useful, however, in giving you a general idea as to whether certain deductions on your return might seem out of line.

Check average deduction amounts
 
Income rangeMedical expensesTaxes paidInterest paidCharitable contributions
$15,000-$30,000$7,074$3,147$9,245$2,024
$30,000-$50,000$6,153$3,830$9,055$2,189
$50,000-$100,000$7,102$6,050$10,659$2,693
$100,000-$200,000$9,269$10,798$13,734$3,757
$200,000-$250,000$21,554$18,164$18,570$5,895
More than $250,000$37,143$50,267$27,865$23,930
Allison Einbinder, owner of Dollars & Sense, a tax and accounting firm in Oakland, Calif., recommends that all filers review the differential comparisons. How you stack up against a national standard, she says, will give you an idea of whether the IRS might take a closer look at your return.
So what is likely to trigger a discriminant information function red flag?
  • Higher incomes.
  • Income other than basic wages; for example, contract payments.
  • Unreported income, such as investment returns.
  • Home-based businesses, especially when in addition to salary income, and home-office deductions.
  • Noncash charitable deductions.
  • Large business meal and entertainment deductions.
  • Excessive business auto usage.
  • Losses from an activity that could be viewed as a hobby rather than a business.
  • Large casualty losses.
Returns claiming the earned income tax credit, designed as a tax break for lower-income wage earners, also catch IRS eyes. The credit's complexity often results in legitimate mistakes on returns. Some filers, however, have been caught making false claims to increase the payment the credit provides.

Schedule C filers who report a business loss also are likely to face more questions from the IRS. The agency wants to be sure that it was indeed the economy, and not an effort to trim taxes, that produced the bad business results.

Don't cheat yourself

But don't let fear of a potential audit discourage you from filing for credits or taking legitimate deductions.
Although some tax return actions are likely to flag your return, Nath says that doesn't necessarily mean you'll be audited.

Even if your return is questioned, it's not a foregone conclusion that you'll end up owing the IRS. As long as your deductions and expenses are legitimate and you have documentation, Nath says, they will be allowed.
The groundwork you put into preparing your return will pay off in an audit situation. "Be confident in what you entered," says Einbinder. "That's easy when you have good records to support your tax return entries."

And even if an audit doesn't go your way, don't despair. "You have rights to contest audits," Nath says, "at every level of the process." 

Read Bankrate's story on how to prepare for an audit in case you get summoned.

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