Wednesday, February 22, 2012

New Meds

> D A M I T O L
> Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up
> to 8 hours.
> St. M A M A' S W O R T
> Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
> rendering preschoolers
> unconscious for up to six hours.
> E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
> Highly effective suppository that eliminates
> melancholy by enhancing the
> memory of how awful your kids were as teenagers and
> how you couldn't
> wait till they moved out.
> P E P T O B I M B O
> Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups
> swallowed before an
> evening out increases breast size, decreases
> intelligence, and improves
> flirting.
> D U M E R O L
> When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low
> I.Q. causing
> enjoyment of country western music.
> F L I P I T O R
> Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling
> road rage and the
> urge to flip off other drivers.
> M E N I C I L L I N
> Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases
> resistance to such lines
> as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we
> get naked now?"
> B U Y A G R A
> Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
> Increases potency and
> duration of spending spree.
> Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL
> When combined with Buyagra, can cause an
> indiscriminate buying frenzy so
> severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie
> Osmond CD or a book
> by Dr. Laura.
> J A C K A S S P I R I N
> Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember
> your birthday,
> anniversary, or phone number.
> A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
> A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
> anyone too eager to
> share their life stories with total strangers.

C:\Doc Farm\I. Jokes\New medications 12 10 02.doc

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