Funny Happy Birthday Sayings

♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Happy birthday to you♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Happy birthday to you♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Happy birthday dear Jon ... ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Happy birthday to you!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪

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Funny Happy Birthday Sayings

• “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.”  Author Unknown
• “A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”   Robert Frost
• “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”   Phyllis Diller
• “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”   Bob Hope
• “For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.”   John Glenn (Astronaut)
• “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too.”   Children’s birthday song
• “Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.”   Ogden Nash
• “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”    Rev. Larry Lorenzoni
• “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.”  H. Prochnow
• “Why was he/she born so beautiful. Why was she born at all. Because she had no say in it. No say in it at all.”   Children’s birthday song
• “I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.”   Eva Gabor

Funny Age Sayings (Birthday or not)

• “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.”   Bette Midler
• “The first hundred years are the hardest.”   Wilson Mizner
• “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh yourself.”   Ethel Barrymore
• “Looking fifty is great–if you’re sixty.”   Joan Rivers
• “The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything. “   Oscar Wilde
• “Pleas’d look forward, pleas’d to look behind,  and count each birthday with a grateful mind.”   Alexander Pope
• “It takes a long time to grow young.”   Pablo Picasso
• “Getting old ain’t for sissies.”   Betty Davis
• “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”   Mark Twain
• “Some people reach the age of sixty before others.”   Lord Hood
• “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”   Mark Twain
• “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”   C. Joad
• “Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.”   Maurice Chevalier
• “The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.”    Jerry Wright
• “Oh to be seventy again.”   Georges Clemenceau, on seeing a pretty girl on his 80^th birthday
• “The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.”   Pope Paul VI
• “The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.”   Raymond Duncan
• “The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.”   Alice Roosevelt Longworth
• “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”    Abraham Lincoln

Stuff You Didn't Know You Didn't Know!

Stuff you didn't know you didn't know! Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.  ------------  Coca-Cola was originally green. ------------  It is impossible to lick your elbow.  --------- The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska ------------ The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) ------------ The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%  ------------ The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:  $ 16,400 ------------ The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000 ------------ Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.. ------------ The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer. ------------ The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. ------------ Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:  Spades - King David  Hearts - Charlemagne  Clubs -Alexander, the Great  Diamonds - Julius Caesar ------------ 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321 ------------ If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes  ------------ Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.  ------------ Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace  ------------ Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?  A. Obsession ------------ Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?  A. One thousand ------------ Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? A. All were invented by women. ------------ Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey ------------ Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day ------------ In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'  ------------ It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his new son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.  ------------ In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' . . .  It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's. ------------ Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups.When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.  ------------ At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow! ------------ YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2013 when...  1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help youcarry in the groceries... 7. Every commercial on television has a Web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it ! 10. You get up in the morning and go on-line before getting your coffee 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :) 12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

In Venice, Huge Cruise Ships Bring Tourists And Complaints

by SYLVIA POGGIOLI

July 15, 2013 2:37 PM

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All Things Considered

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A massive cruise ships towers over Venice. Some 650 cruise ships now visit the Italian city annually, and critics say they threaten the city's fragile architecture.

Courtesty of the No Big Ships Committee

The fragile architectural treasures of Venice are endangered by rising sea levels, and a growing number of critics now say the city and its canals are at risk from massive cruise ships as big as floating skyscrapers.

On an average day, tens of thousands of passengers lean over the railings of cruise ships that can be 300 yards long and 15 stories high. The tourists peer down at the majestic Doge's Palace as they sail into St. Mark's basin and down the Giudecca canal.

Matteo Casini, a professor of history, says the big ships are alien creatures and an insult to the Renaissance jewel.

"It's like being in a science-fiction movie," he says. "These monsters obscure us; they are twice the Palazzo Ducale [Doge's Palace]; they are twice longer than Piazza San Marco; they have dimensions and numbers nothing to do with Venice."

Casini complains that when big ships pass by, windowpanes tremble and vibrations lead to cracks in the walls of old buildings. He says that the towering ships interfere with television and Wi-Fi signals.

Last month, exasperated Venetians organized a three-day protest under the slogan, "Take Back The Lagoon." The high point was a symbolic boat blockade in which hundreds of people in small vessels filled the canal waving banners with the words, "No Big Ships."

"Big ships are destroying Venice," a woman lamented over a loudspeaker. A man followed her, proclaiming, "Each big ship spewing black smoke pollutes the equivalent of 14,000 cars, moves 135,000 tons of water and destroys the foundations of Venetian buildings."

A cruise ship in Venice sails by St. Mark's Square and Doge's Palace.

Courtesy of No Big Ships Committeehttp://www.npr.org/blogs/parallels/2013/07/15/202347080/In-Venice-Huge-Cruise-Ships-Bring-Tourists-And-Complaints