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Funny Happy Birthday Sayings
- “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” Author Unknown
- “A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” Robert Frost
- “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” Phyllis Diller
- “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” Bob Hope
- “For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” John Glenn (Astronaut)
- “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too.” Children’s birthday song
- “Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.” Ogden Nash
- “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” Rev. Larry Lorenzoni
- “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” H. Prochnow
- “Why was he/she born so beautiful. Why was she born at all. Because she had no say in it. No say in it at all.” Children’s birthday song
- “I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.” Eva Gabor
Funny Age Sayings (Birthday or not)
- “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” Bette Midler
- “The first hundred years are the hardest.” Wilson Mizner
- “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh yourself.” Ethel Barrymore
- “Looking fifty is great–if you’re sixty.” Joan Rivers
- “The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything. “ Oscar Wilde
- “Pleas’d look forward, pleas’d to look behind, and count each birthday with a grateful mind.” Alexander Pope
- “It takes a long time to grow young.” Pablo Picasso
- “Getting old ain’t for sissies.” Betty Davis
- “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Mark Twain
- “Some people reach the age of sixty before others.” Lord Hood
- “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” Mark Twain
- “Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” C. Joad
- “Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.” Maurice Chevalier
- “The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.” Jerry Wright
- “Oh to be seventy again.” Georges Clemenceau, on seeing a pretty girl on his 80th birthday
- “The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.” Pope Paul VI
- “The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.” Raymond Duncan
- “The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.” Alice Roosevelt Longworth
- “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln
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