Michael Jackson's Epic Sound

Why do the Michael Jackson/Quincy Jones collaborations sound so darn good?

WSJ's Jim Fusilli breaks down Michael's epic sound.

"At the heart of Michael Jackson's musical legacy are two albums that total less than an hour-and-a-quarter's worth of music. Both are rightfully considered among the best pop albums of their era. "Off the Wall," released in 1979, and "Thriller," issued three years later, turned Jackson from a teenybopper into an adult pop entertainer and ushered in his international superstardom.

Both were overseen by Quincy Jones, already a much-admired musician, composer, arranger, conductor and producer who'd worked with Count Basie, Ray Charles, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Dizzy Gillespie, Lionel Hampton and Frank Sinatra.

The two first discussed working together while Mr. Jones was supervising the music for the 1978 film "The Wiz," in which Jackson played the Scarecrow. "I saw his sensitivity and his focus," said Mr. Jones, age 76, who called yesterday from London. "There was such an innocence, but he didn't miss a thing." Epic, Jackson's label, thought Mr. Jones was too steeped in jazz to produce what became "Off the Wall." But Jackson and his management team insisted, and Epic relented.

When the project began, Jackson had demos of two songs; Mr. Jones had a track from the funk band the Brothers Johnson that needed a melody and lyrics. Everything else came together once they became part of a team. "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough," the album opener composed by Jackson, is set up by the syncopated percussion that Jackson, his sister Janet and brother Randy played on a casaba, cowbell and glass bottle and had recorded for the demo version. Suddenly, Jackson screams and the orchestra explodes: Sweeping strings; punchy horns; bass, drums and handclaps form the foundation under Jackson's vocal. Single notes plucked on electric guitar fold into the Jacksons' percussion, creating a signature sound for the singer. It's a busy track, but not cluttered. Mr. Jones told me his big-band experience helped him organize all the sounds.

"Workin' Day and Night," the album's third song, also rises from percussion that Jackson had recorded earlier with his siblings. Plucked guitars are its core too. Mr. Jones omitted orchestral strings this time, but Jerry Hey and Greg Phillinganes did the horn and rhythm charts, respectively, as on "Don't Stop."

The two remaining tunes on side one reveal a maturing Jackson. "Rock With You," written by Rod Temperton, a composer Mr. Jones still favors, and "Get On the Floor," built on a riff by bassist Louis Johnson of the Brothers Johnson. On the former, the mood is airy and seductive; on the latter, bold and assertive. Mr. Johnson dominates "Get On the Floor," which is also driven by Mr. Hey's horns, John Robinson's cymbal work and Latin percussion by Paulinho Da Costa -- and a forceful vocal by Jackson.

"Rock With You" and the title track are cut from comparable cloth. In "Rock With You," a trombone and two tenor saxophones add warmth to the bottom, while lilting synthesizers and chopping guitar chords fill the midrange. Once again, Mr. Robinson's drumming shines as he shifts the cymbal pattern to deliver the song to its chorus. A synthesizer plays staccato notes, recasting the plucked guitar notes of the opening song, one of the many pull-throughs that Mr. Jones preferred and that give the album its unity.

Hundreds of Michael Jackson fans circled the block around Harlem's famed Apollo Theater. The arrangement for "Off the Wall" foreshadows the title track of "Thriller," with its bass synth, cymbals, insistent backbeat and plucked guitar as the rhythmic platform. Mr. Temperton wrote both songs and had a hand in arranging their rhythm tracks.

While "Thriller" lives in the memory as the soundtrack to a long-form music video, it's also an expert piece of pop -- and so is its predecessor. Throughout the "Off the Wall" album, Mr. Jones challenged Jackson to expand his vocal range. "I wanted him to sing down low," he recalled. "A lot of his habits came from Motown. They wanted him to sing high, but by then we had a relationship of trust, an honesty with each other."

Of the remaining songs of Jackson's solo debut, only the Carol Bayer Sager tune "It's the Falling in Love" seems stuck in the late '70s. Johnny Mandel, who arranged for Basie, Sinatra and others, did the string charts for "She's Out of My Life," Jackson's successful attempt at a big, romantic ballad. Mr. Jones said he had intended to give the song, written by Tom Bahler, to Sinatra to record.

Jackson and Mr. Jones reunited for "Thriller," using key members of the "Off the Wall" team -- engineer Bruce Swedien (who Mr. Jones credits for what he still considers both albums' unsurpassed sound), Mr. Temperton, Mr. Hey and Mr. Phillinganes among them. "The collective is always more powerful than the individual," Mr. Jones told me. Of course, Jackson's enormous talent and unbridled ambition were the major drivers. By now, the bass synthesizer had become part of the pop vocabulary, and it introduces the album's opener,

"Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'." A dance tune with horns arranged by Mr. Hey that was originally proposed for "Off the Wall," it serves as a bridge from the earlier album, but it has a leaner, more biting feel. It ends with a long vocal recitation of a line from Manu Dibango's "Soul Makossa."

After the pop gem "Baby Be Mine," written by Mr. Temperton, and the Jackson-Paul McCartney duet, "The Girl is Mine," comes a four-song stretch as strong as any in pop history:

"Thriller," which ends side one with its ghoulish narration by Vincent Price, "Beat It," "Billie Jean" and "Human Nature." A drum machine's steady rhythm introduces "Beat It," which was written by Jackson and is immediately cast as a rock song by Steve Lukather's guitar and a brief hint of the coming guitar solo by Eddie Van Halen, who Mr. Jones brought to the project. Jeff Porcaro, who, like Mr. Lukather, was a member of the band Toto, plays drums. Mr. Jones said that he and Jackson, determined to expand the performer's base, had their eyes on a rock audience. "Billie Jean" also was a Jackson composition. Sung with icy fire, its melody rests on what may be the deepest groove in pop history, formed by a battery of synths, N'dugu Chancler on drums and Mr. Johnson on bass. At the chorus, Mr. Jones opens the track, allowing in a chiming guitar to leaven the relentless, bottom-heavy rhythm. Lush synthesizers add movement to the backdrop. "When you come out of 'Billie Jean,' which is just three chords, you need a kaleidoscopic harmonic structure," Mr. Jones said. "You know, the ear wants that."

Steve Porcaro composed the music for the next tune, a lovely ballad. "Toto sent over a demo and Rod Temperton and I listened to it, but the first two songs didn't do much for us," he told me. "Then the third song came out and I said, 'Yeah!" The next day, Mr. Jones asked John Bettis to write the lyrics to what became "Human Nature." The performance floats on guitar and bass notes; at first, the brass is barely noticeable. Mr. Jones allows the chorus to arrive without additional fanfare, thus drawing in the listener. Jackson sings it beautifully, allowing his voice to meld with the whole.

"Thriller" concludes with the snappy "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)," which brought Jackson together with his sisters Janet and LaToya, and "The Lady in My Life," a gorgeous ballad written by Mr. Temperton featuring Paul Jackson on guitar. Five years after the release of "Thriller," Jackson and Mr. Jones went on to make "Bad," with many of the same musicians who played and arranged parts for their breakthrough recordings.

By then, though, the template for presenting the music of Michael Jackson was set. He had become the King of Pop. "We put this all together behind Michael's energy and sensitivity," Mr. Jones said. "It was a team effort. I swear to you, it was like divinity put us all together."

Mr. Fusilli is the Journal's rock and pop music critic.

Michael J's Pepsi ad

What more can be said about pop/r&b musical genius Michael Jackson?

He was one of the first '80's pop stars to legitimize TV celebrity endorsements by musicians, raising the price tag to a then record $5 million deal. He cleared the way for a wave of suddenly hip, star-studded commercials, in an industry where Hollywood and music insiders had long frowned upon such endorsements as crass.

Take a look at how he modified Billie Jean to create one of Pepsi's best ads ever, link below.

On a personal level, I saw Michael entertain at Indiana U. when I was a freshman, having secured some front row seats to see the Jackson 5 from the AM radio station where I DJ'ed.

Many of my friends were "too cool" to go see young Michael sing "ABC" and "Stop the Love You Save". Remember this was the late '60's, think the Doors and the James Gang.

Watching him perform close up, I was speechless. His voice was a child's pitch but with a mature vocal range with uncanny pacing.

And yes, even at 11 years old, you couldn't take your eyes off his dancing, choreography, and stage presence.

The only other entertainer who had that impact on me was when I saw Robin Williams as his career was lifting off as "Mork".


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vd15YVb2M6M

TV Networks - Technology's Latest Blow - Death by 1000 Cuts

Growing up, I loved our old black and white TV.

We had only 3 network channels (WCBS, WNBC, WABC), 2 weak independent stations (WNEW, WPIX) and a fledgling, part time, educational TV channel.

How technology has changed it all !

The latest nail in the coffin for TV networks was hammered in on Monday.

The Supreme Court declined to hear a case about a digital video recorder technology, opening the gate for wider use of DVR systems.

With it, a customer would use a remote control to digitally record a program like “60 Minutes” but instead of storing the show in the customer’s at-home DVR box, the technology would store the show on a faraway Cablevision server.

The technology would let Cablevision convert set-top boxes into boxes with DVR capabilities without requiring an installation or new equipment, opening up broader use of DVR access and commercial skipping tools.

I wonder if TV's pioneers ever envisioned the explosion in TV and web content?

from:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/30/technology/30cable.html?_r=1&th=&emc=th&pagewanted=print

3,000 hours and 100,000 toothpicks later

Artist Scott Weaver spent 35 years working on this toothpick structure of San Francisco, which required 100,000 toothpicks and has a ball that rolls through the entire thing in Rube Goldberg fashion.

The nine-foot-tall creation is called "Rolling Through the Bay". But perhaps the best part of this is Weaver's sentiment towards the project; he loves to "know that I'm building something that people will see later on that took a long time to build for no reason."

Ripley's Museum has upped its offer from $10,000 to $40,000 to buy it. Mr. Weaver isn't selling.

Video Link here:

http://gizmodo.com/5029363/rube-goldberg-machine-is-made-of-100000-toothpicks-shaped-like-san-francisco

Transistor Radios and the Start of Summer

The start of summer always reminds me of my first transistor radio.

By 1960 vacuum tubes were rapidly being replaced by small, lightweight transistors. Jack Kilby (Texas Instruments, 1958) is credited with having developed the concept of integrating device and circuit elements onto a single silicon chip, see graphic.

Robert Noyce (Fairchild Semiconductor, 1959e is given credit for having conceived the method for integrating the separate elements.

IC's advantages over vacuum tubes were obvious: they became less expensive, did not burn out in service, and were much smaller and more reliable.

Early ICs contained about 10 individual components on a silicon chip 3 mm (0.12 inch) square. By 1970 the number was up to 1,000 on a chip of the same size at no increase in cost. Late in the following year the first microprocessor was introduced. The device contained all the arithmetic, logic, and control circuitry required to perform the functions of a computer’s central processing unit (CPU). This type of large-scale IC was developed by a team at Intel Corporation, the same company that also introduced the memory IC in 1971. The stage was now set for the computerization of small electronic equipment.

Until the microprocessor appeared on the scene, computers were essentially discrete pieces of equipment used primarily for data processing and scientific calculations. They ranged in size from minicomputers, comparable in dimensions to a small filing cabinet, to mainframe systems that could fill a large room.

The microprocessor enabled computer engineers to develop microcomputers—systems about the size of a lunch box or smaller but with enough computing power to perform many kinds of business, industrial, and scientific tasks. Such systems made it possible to control a host of small instruments or devices (e.g., numerically controlled lathes and one-armed robotic devices for spot welding) by using standard components programmed to do a specific job. The very existence of computer hardware inside such devices is not apparent to the user.

The large demand for microprocessors generated by these initial applications led to high-volume production and a dramatic reduction in cost. This in turn promoted the use of the devices in many other applications—for example, in household appliances and automobiles, for which electronic controls had previously been too expensive to consider.

Continued advances in IC technology gave rise to very large-scale integration (VLSI), which substantially increased the circuit density of microprocessors. These technological advances, coupled with further cost reductions stemming from improved manufacturing methods, made feasible the mass production of personal computers for use in offices, schools, and homes.

By the mid-1980s inexpensive microprocessors had stimulated computerization of an enormous variety of consumer products. Common examples included programmable microwave ovens and thermostats, clothes washers and dryers, self-tuning television sets and self-focusing cameras, videocassette recorders and video games, telephones and answering machines, musical instruments, watches, and security systems. Microelectronics also came to the fore in business, industry, government, and other sectors. Microprocessor-based equipment proliferated, ranging from automatic teller machines (ATMs) and point-of-sale terminals in retail stores to automated factory assembly systems and office workstations.

By mid-1986 memory ICs with a capacity of 262,144 bits (binary digits) were available. In fact, Gordon E. Moore, one of the founders of Intel, observed as early as 1965 that the complexity of ICs was approximately doubling every 18–24 months, which was still the case in 2000. This empirical “Moore’s law” is widely used in forecasting the technological requirements for manufacturing future ICs.

from

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/183904/electronics

Happy 75th Birthday Donald !

75 years ago today. FDR was in the White House, the country was in a depression and a kid could get into the movies for a nickel. And, a star was born. Donald Duck made his cartoon debut in a cartoon feature called "The Wise Little Hen."

Link here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5dowCyaP7I&feature=related

He had his own daily newspaper comic strip by 1938, and by the 1940's, he'd already surpassed Mickey Mouse in the number of cartoons reaching theaters. Web-footed and hot-headed, Donald starred in more than 150 other cartoons and seven full-length feature films. In one of his most daring roles, a patriotic Donald took on the Nazi's in "Der Fuehrer's Face" - which earned him his one and only Oscar in 1943. At 75, Donald Duck is no spring chicken, but he still looks pretty good.

While we're talking about cartoons, here's the Disney's Silly Symphony -- Three Little Pigs. The classic story of lazy pigs singing and fiddling vs. the hard-working pig laying bricks.

This was our son's favorite when he was barely able to talk. Bobby would laugh hysterically and say "yowwwwwwwwww" every time the wolf's bottom would land in the kettle of boiling water.

Video link here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHJ0L6DftGg&NR=1

from Disney and CBS News

Where's my celestial GPS -- Dark matter distorts the universe

This computer generated simulation image shows how dark matter, shown in red, distorts the light path from and apparent shape of distant galaxies, depicted in blue.

The presence of a massive network of distributed dark matter is evident in a recent analysis of the shapes of 200,000 distant galaxies. Scientists with the Canada-France-Hawaii Telescope believe that intervening dark matter, normally invisible, may distort images originating in the distant universe, much the way an old window distorts images originating on the other side. Makes you wonder how man would "aim" a spaceship, using light as its target, matter, or some other means.

No GPS's for space yet.

Source: NASA Astronomy Picture of the Day

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html

Leave Well Enough Alone Department

Microsoft wants a new term for 'netbooks,'

Microsoft now wants to change the name of these low-cost slabs of white plastic riding Intel's Atom processor. Oh joy.

Apparently unhappy with the 5 choices of netbook, smartbook, MIDI, thin-and-light, and ultra-portable, Microsoft's preference is, are you ready, "low cost small notebook PC."

Man, that flows like a sonnet.

The new name proposed by Steven Guggenheimer, general manager of Microsoft's Application Platform & Development Marketing Division, is meant to reflect netbooks that do more than Internet browsing.

Hidden agenda: What Steve-o doesn't say is that by creating a new product division above netbooks, Microsoft can require beefier versions of its Windows OS installed for higher profits on higher margins -- especially now that they've dropped the three application limit from its entry-level Windows 7 Starter Edition.

Hey Microsoft, if it's all the same to you, we're just fine with the term netbook thankyouverymuch.

Given the near-universal positive press heaped on Windows 7 thus far, you'll be raking in the cash starting October 22nd, no need to shake us down, ok?

http://www.engadget.com/2009/06/03/microsoft-wants-new-term-for-netbooks-unhappy-with-other-5-ch/#comments

Your Next Car -- The Trabbie?

The Trabant put communist-era Eastern Bloc residents on wheels, as big a revolution behind the Iron Curtain as the VW Beetle was for their western cousins.
Several versions were made, but the famous P600 (plastic body, 600cc two-stroke) 'Trabbie' was made for 30 years unchanged.
That ugly little car became famous in 1989 when thousands of East Germans used it to cross to the West. The Trabant originally derived from a well regarded West German car (the DKW) made by Audi, which today produces some of the most prestigious cars in the world. In the hands of the East German government, the unfortunate DKW became a farce of a car. The bureaucrats and the union that ran the Trabant factory made the car smaller and boxier, to give it a more proletarian look. To reduce production costs, they cut down on the size of the original, already small DKW engine, and they replaced the metal body with one made of plastic-covered cardboard. What rolled off the assembly line was a kind of horseless carriage that roared like a lawn mower and polluted the air worse than a whole city block full of big Western cars.

After German reunification, the plucky little "Trabi" that East Germans used to wait 10 years to buy became an embarrassment, and its production was stopped. Germany's junkyards are now piled high with Trabants, which cannot be recycled because burning their plastic-covered cardboard bodies would release poisonous dioxins. German scientists are now trying to develop a bacterium to devour the cardboard-and-plastic body.

Reported by Lt. Gen. Pacepa, the highest ranking Soviet bloc official granted political asylum in the U.S., WSJ, 6/1/09

Images of many great Euro cars here:

http://www.channel4.com/4car/gallery/

Fall of an American Giant

Founded in 1908, G.M. ruled the car industry for more than half a century, with a broad range of vehicles, reflecting the company’s promise to offer “a car for every purse and purpose.”

Rarely has a company fallen so far and so fast as General Motors.

The company did have vast numbers of loyal buyers, but G.M. lost them through a series of strategic and cultural missteps starting in the 1960s.

It bungled efforts in the 1980s to cut costs by sharing the underpinnings of its cars across different brands, blurring their distinctiveness.

G.M. gave in to union demands in 1990 and created a program that paid workers even when plants were not running, forcing it to build cars and trucks it could not sell without big incentives.

Its finance staff argued with product developers and marketers who pushed for aggressive spending on new cars and trucks. But forced to feed so many brands, G.M. often resorted to a practice called “launch and leave” — spending billions upfront to bring vehicles to market, but then failing to keep supporting them with sustained advertising.

With its market share shrinking, G.M. could not give its multiple brands and car models the individual attention that helped Honda attract customers to the Accord and Toyota to its Camry.

It also lost interest in vehicles that needed time to find their audience, as happened when the company introduced the EV1 electric vehicle and then dropped it in 1999 after only three years.

Now G.M.’s brand lineup is being halved, with the company jettisoning divisions like Pontiac.

“Nobody gave any respect to this thing called image because it wasn’t in the business plan,” Mr. Wangers said. “It was all about, ‘When is this going to earn a profit?’ ”

Over the years, G.M. executives became practiced at the art of explaining their problems, attributing blame to everyone but themselves.

That list included the United Automobile Workers, for demanding health care coverage and pensions (even though G.M. agreed to provide them); government regulators, for imposing rules that G.M. said hampered its competitiveness; the Japanese government, for unfairly helping its own carmakers break into the United States market; and the news media, for failing to appreciate G.M. vehicles and the strides the company was making to improve them.

Asked in 1995 why he had not moved faster to reorganize the company, the late G.M. chief executive Roger Smith replied, “Wouldn’t it have been wonderful if we could have flipped a switch?”

Even last week, G.M.’s newly retired vice chairman, Robert A. Lutz, said the automaker had experienced a “world of hurt, much of it not of our own doing.”

Sloganeering was not backed up by execution. Executives wore lapel pins, for example, in 2002, with the number “29” — referring to the market share the company vowed to regain (most companies focus on profits). Through April of this year, its share was 19 percent, a steep drop from its peak of 54 percent in 1954.

Consumers started blaming G.M. for sub-par vehicles. They may have given them second and third chances, but many eventually started switching to other brands, which will make it that much harder for G.M. to win them back.

Mr. Wagoner was able to hold on to his job for longer than people expected, as G.M.’s stock fell steadily from about $70 when he took charge at the start of the decade. It closed at 75 cents a share on Friday.
By MICHELINE MAYNARD, New York Times, Published: May 31, 2009

MusicRadio WABC Celebrates Rewound 2009

For those who grew up with 77 WABC in the 60's, you'll appreciate this year's Rewound 2009, a collection of one hour radio shows, lovingly edited and restored to bring back the magic that was "77, W-A-B-Ceeeeeeeeeeeee". DJ's include Big Dan Ingram, the DJ's DJ. Link to mp3's is below:

http://wabcradio.com/sectional.asp?id=33049

Details of the shows are:

Hour 1. "Cousin Brucie" Morrow - Tue. 10/29/1963 - 11:00-11:30PM and
Bob Lewis - Sun. 6/13/1965 - 2:10-2:20PM & 1:50-2:10PM

Hour 2. Charlie Greer followed by Dan Ingram - Sat. 3/6/1965 - 2:00-2:55PM

Hour 3. Dan Ingram with Bob Dayton (April Fool's Joke) - Wed. 4/1/1964 - 2:00-2:35PM and
Bob Lewis - either Thu. 1/2/1964, Fri. 1/3/1964 or Sat. 1/4/1964 - 12:28-12:43AM

Hour 4. Dan Ingram - Thu. 4/1/1971 - 2:00-2:55pm (Part 1 - see Hour 7)

Hour 5. Ron Lundy followed by Dan Ingram - Wed. 10/14/1970 - 1:25-2:22PM

Hour 6. Dan Ingram - Tue. 3/9/1971 - 2:00-2:33PM

Hour 7. Dan Ingram with visit from David Frye - Thu. 4/1/1971 - 3:00-3:55PM (Part 2 - see Hour 4)

Hour 8. Jay Reynolds with newscasts by Jim Perry - Tue. 10/27/1970 - 1:15-2:12AM

Hour 9. Johnny Donovan - Sat. 7/13/1974 - 9:55-10:30PM and
Roby Yonge - either Wed. 9/4/1968, Thu. 9/5/1968 or Fri. 9/6/1968 - 1:30-1:55PM

Hour 10. "Cousin Bruce" Morrow - Sat. 7/13/1974 - 6:05-7:00PM (Part 1 - see Hour 11)

Hour 11. "Cousin Bruce" Morrow - Sat. 7/13/1974 - 7:00-7:55PM (Part 2 - see Hour 10)

Hour 12. Harry Harrison - Fri. 12/31/1976 - 7:20-8:22AM (two 5 min. newscasts deleted) and
Harry Harrison - Thu. 12/30/1976 - 7:52-8:20AM (5 min. newscast deleted).

Fan Discussion/Message Board:

http://wabcradio.com/goout.asp?u=http://www.musicradio77.com/wabcboard/wwwboard/

A new Photoshop art

Tilt shift... making real photos look like miniature towns, people, scenery...

more here...http://digital-artist-toolbox.com/?p=24

...with thanks to Ed !

Why Doesn't the White House Use Photoshop?

Next time, try Photoshop...

It could look like this...

...without ever scaring lower New York !

Yes it's a pretty shot...

...but people freaked out...

...a bit close, wouldn't you say?

Inexplicable Behavior of Photons

Quantum physics studies very small stuff -- atoms, photons and other particles. Unlike the cause-and-effect of our physical world, subatomic particles defy common sense and behave in wacky ways. A photon, which is a particle of light, spins in many ways, such as "up" or "down," at the same time. Even trickier, it's only when you take a peek -- by measuring it -- that the photon fixes into a particular state of spin. Even stranger still is entanglement. When two photons get "entangled" they behave like a joint entity. Even when they're miles apart, if the spin of one particle is changed, the spin of the other instantly changes, too. This direct influence of one object on another distant one is called non-locality. More from Wall Street Journal, here:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124147752556985009.html

Strengthening Digital Defenses

Just as the invention of the atomic bomb changed warfare and deterrence 64 years ago, a new international race has begun to develop cyberweapons and systems to protect against them.

(click on map to enlarge)

Thousands of daily attacks on federal and private computer systems in the United States — many from China and Russia, some malicious and some testing chinks in the patchwork of American firewalls — have prompted the Obama administration to review American strategy.

President Obama is expected to propose a far larger defensive effort in coming days, including an expansion of the $17 billion, five-year program that Congress approved last year, the appointment of a White House official to coordinate the effort, and an end to a running bureaucratic battle over who is responsible for defending against cyberattacks.

The full story is here, courtesy New York Times, David E. Sanger, John Markoff and Thom Shanker reporting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/28/us/28cyber.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th

Back to the Future with Max Headroom

Say hello again to Max Headroom – the first computer generated TV host.

Ironically, this Max Headroom episode is about Blipverts, little blasts of TV ads that make the audience’s heads explode, and, this video is interrupted by quick, current day web ads, that... you get the idea.

Suggestion: FF to spot 20 minutes remain, when Max Headroom is born. It’s here that the show kicks into high gear. Here's the link:

http://www.joost.com/175003l/t/Max-Headroom-Blipverts

In the premiere episode, set in an anonymous, yet uncomfortably familiar world "20 minutes into the future," television has become the only growth industry and ratings are the networks only concern.

The Max Headroom character originated in 1985-86 as an announcer for a music video British television channel, Channel 4, called The Max Headroom Show. The intent was to portray a futuristic computer-generated character. Max Headroom appeared as a stylized head on TV against harsh primary color rotating-line backgrounds, and he became well known for his jerky techno-stuttering American-accented speech, wisecracks, and puns

The Original Max Talking Headroom Show was made by Cinemax in 1987.

Network 23 is revealed as an omnipotent conglomerate that monitors the world through hundreds of satellites. In this forbidding society, household television sets have no "off" switches and communication is total and instantaneous.

Corrupt, manipulative executives have enabled the Network to become the world's most powerful station, due largely to the invention and secret use of "Blipverts," television commercials that are compressed and transmitted into the viewers' minds to prevent "channel switching."

But a lethal side-effect of "Blipverts" on some viewers leads to a series of extraordinary "accidents" that the Network board members try to hide from the public.

When the Network's star investigative reporter, Edison Carter (Matt Frewer), discovers that his own organization is behind this diabolical plot, he sets out to expose the cover-up. During his investigation, Carter is involved in a near-fatal incident, and nervous Network executives take him for a computerized memory scan to see what he has learned.

Bryce Lynch (Chris Young), the Network's brilliant, teenaged head of research and development, uses the opportunity to test his new invention, which records a subject's memory while computerizing its image on the screen.

This test results in the accidental "birth" of Carter's computerized alter-ego, Max Headroom (Frewer), a stuttering blend of human mind and powerful microchip, who inhabits the television airwaves. Carter and Max join forces under the watchful eyes of Network controller Theora Jones (Amanda Pays) and continue the investigation.

Trivia:

The real image of Max was not computer generated. Computing technology in the mid-1980s was not sufficiently advanced for a full-motion, voice-synced human head to be practical for a television series. Max's image was actually that of actor Matt Frewer in latex and foam prosthetic makeup with a fiberglass suit created by Peter Litten and John Humphreys of Coast to Coast Productions in the UK. This was then superimposed over a moving geometric background. Even the background was not actual computer graphics at first; it was hand-drawn cell animation like the "computer-generated" animations in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy TV series. Later in the U.S. version they were actually generated by a Commodore Amiga computer. But when these things were combined with clever editing, the appearance of a computer-generated human head was convincing to many.

Pure as Driven Snow

Adult film actress Marilyn Chambers, the onetime Ivory Snow model who gained greater fame as the star of the X-rated "Behind the Green Door," was found dead Sunday by her teenage daughter at her home in Southern California. She was 56.

Authorities have not released a cause of death.

Ms. Chambers, given name Marilyn Briggs, was central to the erotic empire built by the late Mitchell brothers - Jim and Artie - at their Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre, now in its 40th year.

Ten years ago, San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown proclaimed a "Marilyn Chambers Day," praising the porn queen for her "artistic presence," her "vision" and her "energy."

"That wasn't from any personal knowledge. That was all part of the allure of San Francisco," Brown said Monday. "At the time that she was doing what she was doing, it created an interest nationally if not internationally in our city. And people would come here to see if Marilyn Chambers was really dressed in snowflakes."

The snowflakes reference goes back to her debut as a teenage model for Ivory Snow, which featured her on a laundry detergent box as a young mother cuddling a laughing baby.

from San Francisco Chronicle

Big Government

01. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

-- Ronald Reagan (1986)

02. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

-- Will Rogers

03. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!

-- Pericles (430 B.C.)

04. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.

-- Mark Twain (1866)

05. Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.

-- Anonymous

06. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

-- Ronald Reagan

07. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

-- Winston Churchill

08. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

-- Mark Twain

09. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.

-- Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

10. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.

-- Thomas Jefferson

Barbie's inventor: "Barbie always represented the fact that a woman has choices."

Ruth Handler was the entrepreneur and marketing genius who co-founded Mattel and created the Barbie doll, one of the world's most enduring and popular toys. She passed away in 2002.

Barbie, a teenage doll with a tiny waist, slender hips and impressive bust, became not only a best-selling toy with more than 1 billion sold in 150 countries, but a cultural icon analyzed by scholars, attacked by feminists and showcased in the Smithsonian Institution.

Although best known for her pivotal role as Barbie's inventor, Handler devoted her later years to a second, trailblazing career: manufacturing and marketing artificial breasts for women who had undergone mastectomies.

Born Ruth Mosko, she was the youngest of 10 children of Polish immigrants who settled in Denver. Her father was a blacksmith who deserted the Russian army. Her mother, who was illiterate, arrived in the United States in the steerage section of a steamship. Her mother's health was so frail that Handler was raised by an older sister.

When she was 19, she left Denver for a vacation in Hollywood and wound up staying. Her high school boyfriend, Elliot Handler, followed her west and married her in 1938. She worked as a secretary at Paramount Studios while he studied industrial design at the Art Center School of Design in Los Angeles (now Art Center College of Design in Pasadena).

When Elliot made some simple housewares to furnish their apartment, Ruth persuaded him to produce more for sale. They bought some workshop equipment from Sears and launched a giftware business in their garage, making items such as bowls, mirrors and clocks out of plastic. With Ruth showing the product line to local stores, sales reached $2 million within a few years.

In 1942 they teamed up with another industrial designer, Harold "Matt" Mattson, to launch a business manufacturing picture frames. Using leftover wood and plastic scrap, they later launched a sideline making dollhouse furniture. Within a few years, the company turned profitable and began to specialize in toys. It was called Mattel, a name fashioned from the "Matt" in Mattson and the "El" in Elliot.

In the late 1950s, Elliot was so preoccupied with the development of a talking doll--eventually marketed as Chatty Cathy--that he was of little help to Ruth when she came up with an idea of her own.

Noting their daughter Barbara's fascination with paper dolls of teenagers or career women, she realized there was a void in the market. She began to wonder if a three-dimensional version of the adult paper figures would have appeal. Why not sell a doll that allowed girls, as she would later say, to "dream dreams of the future"? This doll, she mused, would have to be lifelike. In other words, Handler believed, it would have to have breasts.

When she took the idea to Mattel's executives, who were men, they sneered that no mother would buy her daughter a grown-up doll with a bosom. "Our guys all said, 'Naw, no good,' " she recalled. "I tried more than once and nobody was interested, and I gave up."

Inspired by German Doll

She let the project idle until 1956 when, during a European vacation, she spied a German doll called Lilli in a display case. It had a voluptuous figure, reminiscent of the poster pinups that entertained soldiers during World War II. Handler brought the doll home to Mattel's designers and ordered them to draw up plans and find a manufacturer in Japan who could produce it.

Handler's dream made its debut at the 1959 American Toy Fair in New York City. Named for her daughter, "Barbie Teen-Age Fashion Model" had a girl-next-door ponytail, black-and-white striped bathing suit and teeny feet that fit into open-toed heels. Mattel sold more than 350,000 the first year, and orders soon backed up for the doll, which retailed for $3. "The minute that doll hit the counter, she walked right off," Handler said.

By the early 1960s, Mattel had annual sales of $100 million, due largely to Barbie. The company, then based in Hawthorne, annually turned out new versions of Barbie as well as an ever-expanding wardrobe of outfits and accessories befitting the new princess of toydom. Soon enough Barbie sprouted a coterie of friends and family. Ken, named for the Handlers' son, appeared in 1961; Midge in 1963; Skipper in 1965; and African American doll Christie, Barbie's first ethnic friend, in 1969. The first black Barbie came much later, in 1981.

Under pressure from feminists, Barbie evolved from fashion model to career woman, including doctor, astronaut, police officer, paramedic, athlete, veterinarian and teacher.

Over the years, the toy inspired Barbie clubs, conventions, magazines and Web sites. Barbie was immortalized by Andy Warhol, preserved in time capsules and inspired conceptual artists who spiked the doll's hair or posed it in pickle jars to make statements.

M.G. Lord, author of "Forever Barbie: The Unauthorized Biography of a Living Doll," called Barbie the most potent icon of American culture of the late 20th century.

"She's an archetypal female figure, she's something upon which little girls project their idealized selves," she said. "For most baby boomers, she has the same iconic resonance as any female saints, although without the same religious significance."

The National Organization for Women and other feminists targeted Barbie in the 1970s, arguing that the doll promoted unattainable expectations for young girls. If Barbie was 5 foot 6 instead of 11 1/2 inches tall, her measurements, would be 39-21-33. An academic expert once calculated that a woman's likelihood of being shaped like Barbie was less than 1 in 100,000.

(Ken was shaped somewhat more realistically: The chances of a boy developing his measurements were said to be 1 in 50.)

Handler said she did not take offense at the feminist broadsides and often noted that successful women had played with Barbie and told her the doll helped them enact their aspirations. Even artists' tortured interpretations of Barbie didn't bother her. "More power to them," said Handler, who kept a gold-plated Barbie in her Century City high-rise.

"My whole philosophy of Barbie was that through the doll, the little girl could be anything she wanted to be," Handler wrote in her 1994 autobiography. "Barbie always represented the fact that a woman has choices."

by Elaine Woo, L.A. Times

For Barbie 50 is fabulous.

Turning 50 is a milestone in any woman's life. Looks improve for some; others keep their girlish figures. Still others pull together a wardrobe that expresses their personality. But it's rare to have all three - unless you're made of plastic and your name is Barbie.

Born Barbara Millicent Roberts on March 9, 1959, in Willows, Wisconsin, Barbie, the 11 ½-inch, or 29-centimeter, tall doll, is the top-selling toy in the world, according to the market research company NPD Group. She has traveled the world and worked more than 100 different jobs over the past half century. But Barbie's real profession is clothes horse. The doll's manufacturer, Mattel, has estimated that more than one billion fashion items have been created for Barbie and her friends in the collection since 1959.

With that kind of wardrobe available it comes as no surprise that Barbie was the earliest connection for some top-name fashion designers to dress making and design.

From her first appearance in a graphic black and white swimsuit, Barbie has always had fashion sense. And over the years her tastes have grown to appreciate more designer fare. From Benetton and Burberry to Versace and Vera Wang, Barbie has been dressed by more than 70 designers, including Giorgio Armani, Christian Lacroix and Monique Lhuillier.

For her 50th birthday Mattel decided to highlight Barbie's connection to fashion and push the brand even further into the world of luxury and high-end design with a series of events and partnerships.

During New York Fashion Week in February, Mattel is staging a full-scale Barbie fashion show with 50 designers creating life-size outfits inspired by the doll. Although the names of the designers have yet to be announced, Christian Louboutin has confirmed that he will be designing pumps in Barbie's favorite shade of pink to be worn with each of his outfits.

Wang has concocted a Barbie wedding gown with a sale price exceeding $15,000. The dress comes with a Barbie doll wearing a miniature version of the same gown. Jeremy Scott has used Barbie as the inspiration for his capsule collection for the spring, and Bloomingdale's will dress up the windows of its New York flagship store during fashion week with Barbie dolls.

This year will also see the launch of a line of beauty products under the Barbie label with names like "Plastic Smooth" for skin care and "All Doll'd Up" for cosmetics. Meanwhile, Assouline, the publishing house known for its fashion tomes, has just published a $500 coffee-table book entitled "Barbie" with images of the doll dressed by designers like Miuccia Prada, Karl Lagerfield and Alexander McQueen.

The Barbie party extends beyond the United States. In Paris 50 accessory designers have used Barbie as their muse to create everything from shoes to handbags. The results are to be shown at the Prêt à Porter Paris salon this month. In Canada the bath and body line Cake Beauty has come up with a Barbie fragrance. And in Shanghai, Mattel will open this month the House of Barbie, an eight-story shop that will include a spa, Barbie museum, restaurants, clothing and dolls.

"Barbie is influencing the world because she is part of culture and life and fashion," said the designer Alber Elbaz. For Barbie 50 is fabulous.

By Jessica Michault, International Herald Tribune

Happy Valentine's Day

NICKNAMES

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS!

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..

• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.

• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

-- with thanks to Carolynn and Roy !

A Message of Hope

For more Inauguration Weekend Pictures, please go here

http://www.flickr.com/photos/28753713@N04/sets/72157612777598079/


Barack Obama took the oath of office Tuesday to become the nation’s 44th president at the U.S. Capitol in Washington. The text of his address is as follows:

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths.

What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].“

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2009. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

with thanks to the Big Boy for this one.

Digital Wizardry Department

In his new movie, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," Brad Pitt's Benjamin is completely computer generated - from the neck-up, for the movie's first 52 minutes.

Based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, "Benjamin Button" is about a man born in his '80s who ages backwards.

Visual effects artists at Digital Domain began by asking Pitt to make funny faces for their cameras, creating what they called the Brad Pitt Emotional Library.

Meanwhile, a series of other actors with Benjamin's physical characteristics stood in for Pitt on set. Visual effects work being what it is, the blue hoods meant they could check their vanity at the soundstage door.

"With the blue hood, it allows us to erase the head fairly easily and then apply the computer generated version of Brad on to that body," Ulbrich said.

Months after principal filming was finished, Pitt delivered his performance, while watching the scene on a monitor.

"I see it on screen and I'm playing off that, and I'm reacting to that," he said.

Then, using 3-D computer models, aged to perfection and loaded with that library of Brad-isms, animators could finesse Pitt's digital performance to make a perfect copy of the original

Benjamin Button also uses "Contour" developed by pioneering Silicon Valley company Rearden.

Contour has the actor's face covered in glow-in-the-dark makeup which is then digitally filmed by multiple cameras while lit by strobes, capturing facial data in fine detail.

The footage is then melded together into a single composite before the computer-animated boffins get to work on taking Brad back to his future - and narrowing the increasingly fine line between acting in front of the camera and animating behind it.

Source: CBS Evening News and the New Zealand Herald